What's a Family?
by If Love Were Flowers
Summary: I was abandoned when I was born, and now my heart burns with rejection. I feel their gazes heat my pelt, watch their kits, my siblings, whisper. I feel nothing but shame for this birth into life. And want nothing more then to leave it. On Hiatus
1. Reject

Did you ever know the comforting lick of a mother on your ear as you woke from your dreams? Or the warm smile a mother would give you when you returned from a hunting trip? Those are one of the most beautiful things in the world, right next to the sunrise over the lake during leaf-bare and the sunset during leaf-fall.

Those are the things I always think of when I wake in the apprentice den of ShadowClan, usually before my sister. My name is Snakepaw, and I'm the son of the ShadowClan leader, Smokestar. My sisters' name is Silverpaw, she's so cute, but she's from a different litter then me, along with my younger brother, Marshpaw.

Oh, my mother, my mother is Diamondshine, Silverpaw is just like her, and so is Marshpaw. Both of them have her eyes and her fur; I take more after my father. My siblings and mother all of sleek, white fur with a hint of silver on the tips, giving them this pretty aura around them like they were special. And their eyes, their eyes are beautiful, large and bright green. Every time I see them during leaf-bear they remind me of Greenleaf, and how it's just around the corner.

Me? I look more like my father. Broad shoulders, golden eyes and black and dark gray tabby pelt. My father is also my mentor, and we spent a lot of time together. We're really close, we hunt and train and eat together. There's also my uncle, Blackstripe. He looks just like me too. He's so funny; you wouldn't even guess that he was ShadowClans' deputy!

How close am I to my siblings? Well, we're friends. But Father doesn't like me getting too close to them, because he's afraid I'll get to close to Diamondshine as well.

Huh? I didn't tell you? Oh yeah, Diamondshine doesn't know about me. A few moments after my birth, she refused to even look at me. Our Medicine Cat, Brownleaf, told me that she went into a shock when she first saw me, and refused to accept that she was my mother. My mother became hysterical, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep, and she cried all the time or was shouting angrily at me. Brownleaf told my father that the only way to fix her was to make her forget.

I remember that night he told me she was going to forget about me. He called me to his den, and when I got there he wrapped around me tightly, licking me softly and telling me the only way to make things better was for her to forget. He told me that even if my mother forgot about me, he would still love me. He would love me so much that it would be like I still had a mother to love me.

Brownleaf gave Mother the herbs that would make her forget, and Mother wolfed them down without a second thought. I went to sleep with another queen and her kits that night, and watched as Mothers teary face turned from anguished to smiling softly, and even though I had lost her I felt happy.

Mother then went on to give birth to Silverpaw and Marshpaw. She loved them with all of her heart and Father was so happy. But he would often pull me aside and tell me quietly not to play or talk with Silverpaw or Marshpaw or Diamondshine. He said that she could still remember, and then everything would get wrong. Very wrong.

So I listened to him. I ignored my brother and sister when they called for me to play with them. I kept my distance from Diamondshine. Father was so happy I was listening to him he decided to make me his apprentice. And Blackstripe was like a second father to me. So instead of a father and mother, I guess you could say had two fathers.

I guess you could say I was-

Huh? Why did Diamondshine hate me? Why didn't she look at me? Well… It's not really hard to explain. I'm built differently then all of the other cats I know. How? We'll, it was just the way I was born. Not that different, I have four legs, four paws, claws, a head, two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth. But instead of one tail, mine is split halfway through. That's right, I have a split tail, and when my mother first saw me all she could scream was 'snake!' because she thought a snake had grabbed onto my tail. But once she learned that it wasn't a snake, she began rejecting me.

Of course I love my family, and my mother. Not that she'll ever know that.


	2. Something I Always Pictured

**Peachfoot: Yeah, that chapter was only really the introduction. At the begining of each chapter now there's going to be a breif section like that, before the main story actually starts, and at the end there's going to be another section that co-responds to the first one.**

**Pebblepaw: hehehe... twotail...**

**Deceived: I love your username, and yes, i will update.**

**Cinderdreams: That was my goal!**

**Starfrosts' Spirit: Well, this chapter won't be as sad as the last.**

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_I love my Uncle, he's the greatest, even with his flaws. When I'm sadder then usual he comes to comfort me, and eases my pain. He says that being a deputy isn't all about fighting and hunting or leading, it was about the Clan as well. It's funny actually; there was always something I pictured. Something I always wanted._

"Snakepaw!" My father called me. I spun around, eyes glowing from where I had been play fighting with Blackstripe. I glanced back at him, and he nodded, beaming, and letting me run off to my father. Smokestar swept me aside, to a place where Diamondshine and my siblings wouldn't see what we were talking about.

"You're going to the gathering tonight," he meowed, I brightened up even more if it was possible, I had never been to a Gathering before, but I had heard from other warriors that you would be able to meet a lot of cats there,

"And so are Silverpaw and Marshpaw." I kept my smile, while inside my spirits wilted slightly. That would mean I would have to be careful to avoid them. Like always. My father beamed proudly, "Thank you, Snakepaw. Tell Blackstripe to bring you out on a hunting patrol today." I nodded and dashed away, back to Blackstripe still smiling.

"Daughter, Son!" my father called again. I felt my insides sink again, like always, he called them Daughter and Son, but called me only Snakepaw. Silverpaw pricked up at the sound of our Fathers' voice, and nudged Marshpaw, who had been dozing, the two rushed over to him together, green eyes glowing.

I guess I must have been staring, because Blackstripe nudged me, catching my attention from where he had been dozing.

"Don't look so blue," he yawned, "You're going to the Gathering tonight, aren't you?" I nodded and he smiled, "You know your father loves you. He's just trying to protect your mother and siblings." I flicked my split tail dejectedly, Blackstripe read me like the clumsy apprentice."

"Smokestar said to take you our hunting, right?" he yawned again, flipping over, "Honestly, he's so demanding. Well then, come on, before the squirrels go to sleep." I giggled and the two of us trotted out into the forest side-by-side. On our way out though, we quickly blundered into Darkflower, a small, young black she-cat with dark brown eyes.

"Huh?" she dropped the squirrel she had been holding when she knocked into Blackstripe, "Oh, Blackstripe. I'm sorry." She quickly avoided his gaze and picked up her kill, rushing into the camp. I blinked at the awkward moment, and Blackstripe shuffled his paws, jerking his head to motion that we should still be walking.

"What was that all about?" I asked, snickering inside, do I smell the hint of… romance? Blackstripe cuffed me on the head playfully.

"I taught her a few hunting tricks," he smirked playfully, "Now she's fallen head over tail in love with me." He tried to cuff me again but I jumped away in time.

"So when're you going to have kits?" I laughed and he jumped at me, flustered in embarrassment.

"Are you mental- You don't think- She's too youn- Oh who asked you anyway?" he laughed and pinned my twin tails to the ground, and I tripped, laughing and fell into the mud, Blackstripe straitened, up, but did not take his paws off my tails, "Now, remember, our intentions were to come out here and catch prey for the Clan. That will be _quite_ impossible if we continue this foolish laughing."

"I second that, Blackstripe." A moment later a brown and white tabby tom padded into the clearing, with Marshpaw padding up behind him. It was Brownstripe, Marshpaws' mentor and (from what I could tell) Blackstripes' biggest rival. Every cat in the Clan knew they were kithood friends, but it didn't hinder their rivalry for one second, "You'll never catch as much prey as me and my apprentice here." His eyes glittered, and I groaned.

"Oh ho? Is that a challenge I hear?" Blackstripe pricked his ears and narrowed his eyes, "First one with three squirrels back here."

"Apprentices catch two." Brownstripe grinned, they both nodded, "Deal." Blackstripe spun and waved a tail to me.

"Come on, Snakepaw, time for some tail-kicking hunting." He grinned, leading me towards the ThunderClan border, while Brownstripe marched off towards the RiverClan border. I sighed. Here we go again.

_A mother who loved me, a brother and sister who looked up to me. A father who would beam down in pride at every moment he had with his family. That was what I had always wanted. I wanted the warmth of a gentle sign on my fur as i curled next to my mother or the fire of pride i would gain from my fathers praise._

_But when i fell asleep at night, and drempt of Smokestar and Diamondshine and Silverpaw and Marshpaw, I saw different cats. Instead of Smokestar as my father, I would see Blackstripe, no matter how hard I tried, and when I looked towards my mother I would see Darkflowers black pelt instead of my mothers silvery glow. My brother and sister were kits i had never met before, that looked like smaller versions of Blackstripe and Darkflower. I could never see my parents as my real parents. No matter how hard i tried. Was I really rejected that much?_


	3. Real Freinds

**Longtail Luv: Yay! I don't think this story is anywhere near done though, stick around and keep reviewing!**

**Cinderdreams: Those were the hardest parts to write! Thank you!**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: 0.0 I LOVE your username, btw, and thank you!**

**Starfrosts' Spirit: Yeah, the sadder parts will come later on...**

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I never had a friend in ShadowClan. Well, Darkflower, but she was really more of a mother to me then a friend, and Blackstripe, but he was my uncle and acted more like a father then my real one ever did. _

_There were two other apprentices in the camp besides my siblings and I, Bronzepaw and Graypaw, brother and sister and my littermates. They were the closest thing I had to close siblings, and of course, Diamondshine thought I was their sibling. But they had alienated themselves from me as well when they learned that a split tail wasn't normal. And so, I grew up alone._

_So I guess the Gathering was just a release, a place to hide my faults and make friends. Real friends. Friends who wouldn't care if my tail had two tips or that my mother had rejected me. Real Friends._

"This is the Gathering," Blackstripe whispered in my ear later that night, and I opened my eyes in shock. The Great Oak was so _big_. I felt like it could reach down and crush me with one of its huge boughs like how I would jump on a mouse or water vole. There were so many smells, there were so many cats. My head whirled with all the new warriors and apprentices' to meet, but before I could go Blackstripe pressed his tail into my side.

"Don't say too much," he murmured in his ear, "And don't say too little. Now, go have fun, and meet back here once the Gathering is over." I nodded and rushed off, beaming. I had been this elated ever since Blackstripe and I had beaten Marshpaw and Brownstripe in the hunting rivalry. I quickly spotted a group of WindClan apprentices. And, not ever getting to meet a WindClan cat, bounded over.

"Hello," I smiled, surprising one of the apprentices, a brown and black tom. He quickly recovered and scooted over so that I could join their group. I spotted two ThunderClan apprentices in the circle, as well as two RiverClan apprentices, I quickly tucked my tail into my side then, so that no one would see it.

"Hi," the brown and black tabby from WindClan smiled soflty, "I'm Earthpaw, and this is Brownpaw and Dustpaw." I glanced at them, and quickly saw the family resemblance. They may have different pelts, brown and black tabby, light brown, and dark brown, but their eyes were the same, a crystalline blue, and their shoulders were the same, "They're my sisters." Bingo.

"I'm Tricklepaw, and this is Wavepaw from ThunderClan," said a gray tom. I could tell they weren't related. They were both males, though Tricklepaw had broad shoulders and Wavepaw had narrow. Tricklepaw was gray while Wavepaw was a light blue-gray, and their eye shape and color were different. Wavepaw had larger green eyes and Tricklepaw had smaller golden eyes, "We've no relationship." I knew it.

"And I'm Broadpaw, and this is Bluepaw," a brown tom from RiverClan meowed politely. I examined them carefully. They had different pelts and eyes. Broadpaw had brown fur and blue eyes while Bluepaw had dark blue-gray fur and green eyes. But their ear shapes were distinctly the same, and their shoulders were the same. I took a shot at cousins or half-siblings, "We're cousins." Bull's eye.

"Hello Tricklepaw, Wavepaw." A new cat entered the circle, a little younger then me, with a brown and white tabby pelt and friendly green eyes, "Whose you're new friend?"

"Hey, Petalpaw," Tricklepaw glanced at her; Wavepaw nodded to her and moved over. Judging by their eye color I guessed siblings. Tricklepaw glanced at me, "Petalpaw is Wavepaws sister." He blinked, "Oh, Petalpaw, this is… um…" he glanced unsurely at me.

"Snakepaw from ShadowClan," I meowed proudly, and Tricklepaw blinked. In surprise.

"You're an apprentice?" he meowed, confused. I blinking now, in slight confusion and more shock. What did they think I was? A warrior? Tricklepaw continued, "You're too old to be an apprentice. You should be a warrior." I laughed at that.

"I'm only ten moons," I giggled, shaking out my fur, and the other apprentices gawked. I blinked, did I saw something wrong?

"Wow…" murmured Broadpaw, "I've heard of usually large ShadowClan cats but…"

"I guess it's not true then…" whispered Bluepaw to Wavepaw, who nodded in agreement. I sat there, completely confused as the other apprentices continued to whisper and stare at me.

"W-what's wrong?" I meowed, confused, I felt my legs standing and begin to back away from the other apprentices, they continued to stare, and I felt my split tail press between my legs.

"Are you _really_ part of ShadowClan?" demanded Wavepaw, narrowing his eyes, I had to laugh again at this.

"Of course I am." I smiled what? "You don't think I'm dark enough?"

"Ah, um, hello." Before they could answer, a new voice made me jump, and I turned to see Silverpaw and Marshpaw approaching from the left. Making a quick (and rather rash [I admit) decision, I jumped up, spun around, and left the group, padding back to my place where I would meet up with Blackstripe before we went back to the camp.

The Gathering was just beginning to start when I felt a pair of eyes shift towards me, and I turned, coming nose-to-nose with Petalpaw. I blinked, and then turned my head again, flustered.

"Do you not like Silverpaw and Marshpaw?" she meowed quietly to me as the leaders began to speak. I shrugged, and she looked at me closer with her green eyes, which now glowed with worry. I laughed softly and smiled, and her face fell.

"I noticed it earlier," she murmured, "You smile a lot, don't you, Snakepaw?" she looked so innocent when I glanced over to her, surprised, "You're so good at smiling that's why. Someone would think that you're really happy with your life. But Snakepaw…" she dug her paws into the ground. I glanced over to her, but she just shook her head.

"Never mind, Snakepaw, just… never mind." She murmured, then turned and padded back to where her brother and Tricklepaw were waiting.

_My first Gathering; that was the place I first met her. She reminded me a lot of Silverpaw now that I think about it. So quiet, so cute, so innocent. I could tell that she, like the other apprentices in the Gathering, all had something to hide. Maybe that was what real friends were, maybe that was the first time I actually smiled and was happy._

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**Aww... that was cute. poor Snakepaw finally smiled when he was happy! Kudos for him! Anyway, theres a poll, pick between**

**A. ThunderClan**

**or **

**B. RiverClan**

**Why i won't tell you**

**just clic that little purply-blue button**

**yeah**

**the one at the bottom of the page**

**yeah**

**come on**

**you know you want to**


	4. What Lives and Breathes and Dies

**Iceflight: Thanks**

**Freeheart: sures.**

**Longtails Loyalty: Yuperz, he's a dude who smiles and laughes alot**

**She Who Sulks In Shadows: Thank you for the poll!**

**Longtail Luv: hehehe... you'll just have to find out**

**Pebblepaw: Just wait and see...**

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_Love is as important as memories; it's as simple as that. And when someone tries to erase their memories, it erases their love as well. Memories and love are connected in a fragile, yet held balance. But sometimes you can't help but fall in love, no matter what the memories or what kind of love, you feel it bloom in your heart and reach for the one you love every time your fur brushes or your eyes meet._

_But sometimes it's just too awkward, too distant, and your feelings are cut off halfway. Sometimes the other persons' pride, the pride of the one you love so dearly, cannot help but oppose your relationship. And sometimes. Sometimes it's just hopeless._

"Blackstripe, take Darkflower and Snakepaw out on a patrol down by the Thunderpath at ThunderClans' border." I heard Smokestar order behind me. My fur prickled and I felt Blackstripes' temper rise against his brother, though his voice was cool and controlled.

"Why don't you take out your apprentice, brother?" Blackstripe eyed Smokestar icily, "I'm sure he'd love to spend time with you. Isn't that why you took him out as an apprentice?" I felt my hopes rises as Smokestar glanced over to where I was eating a mouse alone, but he shook his head and pointed his tail towards the rest of the warriors. They were gathering nearby, waiting for instructions from Blackstripe.

Blackstripe rolled his eyes and spun around, jerking his tail to Brownstripe and Silverpaws' mentor, Goldensun.

"Brownstripe, Goldensun take your apprentices and go on a RiverClan border patrol," he ordered, they both nodded and moved away, calling their apprentices, Blackstripe continued to whisk around the throng of cats, picking out the hunting and patrols.

"Bluestorm, I want you on the twoleg border with your apprentice now."

"Oh, but can't we go hunting? We haven't been in ages!"

"Hunting tomorrow then. I want Wetfoot and Graypaw out on solo missions, bring back as much as you can, because we'll need it for leaf-bare. Frostfoot, take out Bronzepaw, teach her more hunting tricks. Darkflower, Smokestars' ordered they you, me, and Snakepaw go out on ThunderClan border patrol."

"You're such a bossy butt, Blackstripe," groaned a back she-cat with white paws, Frostfoot.

"Don't call your deputy a bossy butt, Frostfoot; I'm the one keeping your pelt on your bones!"

"A kit could be kinder!" called an elder nearby, watching the entertainment. Brownstripe jostled Blackstripe challengingly.

"We'll be done with our patrol before you," he grinned, "How about a hunting competition again?" Blackstripe laughed and agreed to the challenge.

I watched on quietly, chewing on my mouse. Silverpaw and Marshpaw were already leaving the camp, and I watched quietly as my littermates Graypaw and Bronzepaw walked out with their mentors. I glanced towards my father, but he was already slipping into the nursery where Diamondshine was, pregnant with her third litter.

Blackstripe called me over, and I jumped to my paws, fur prickling with unease suddenly, and then pulled a smile and ran over to my uncle. He cuffed my fondly with one paw, and I growled, rolling over and batting at him with my front paws. He flicked his tail.

"Come on, we're on patrol," he nodded to Darkflower and they leapt together side-by-side out of the camp. I scrambled to my feet behind them and raced after, heart soaring with the run and sinking with the feelings of regret.

As we neared the border we slowed, and like always, checked for ThunderClan scents as we passed by. Darkflower took the lead, bounded a few foxlengths ahead and checking farther up border for other cats. One time she jumped onto a rock and gave a yowl towards us, who rushed over. Blackstripe jumped onto the rock beside her, his gaze held steadily upstream.

"Looks like Pantherclaw, Yellowbelly, and an apprentice," he murmured, "Scratch that, two apprentices." He nodded, "They're a little close, and we should go talk to them, find out why they're in ShadowClan territory."

The three of us bounded up from the rock, and slowed when the four ThunderClan cats spotted us. I noticed Tricklepaw and Petalpaw in the group, Tricklepaw pressed close to Petalpaw as she shrank back. Pantherclaw, a big black tom narrowed his golden eyes, fixing them on Blackstripe, and then Darkflower gave Yellowbelly, a golden she-cat a quiet look.

"You're on ShadowClan territory, Pantherclaw," Blackstripe meowed coldly. I was surprised at the sound of his voice. Usually it had more warmth, no matter who we talked to. But I guess ThunderClan was different, ThunderClan was one we shouldn't show emotion to, to keep them off our territory and intimidate them, keeping them from attacking.

"Hello to you too, Blackstripe," meowed Pantherclaw as well, "And yes, we are. I'm sorry about that. It seems one of our apprentices," he turned and glared at Petalpaw, who shrank back even more, "Was a little too curious about ShadowClan, and took a few steps over the border." He bowed his head, "We will leave at once."

Blackstripe nodded, "Thank you, it is always good to avoid bloodshed." He looked towards Yellowbelly, "You're a queen, when are your kits due?"

Yellowbelly blinked in surprise, "Ah, soon actually." I took a closer look, and sure enough there was a slight bulge to her belly, and her scent was more powerful then usual, Darkflower tilted her head to one side.

"They're our kits," meowed Pantherclaw, coming up besides his mate and giving her a fond lick, "And we're more close then usual. Yellowbelly was my brothers' apprentice."

Darkflowers' tail twitched and Blackstripe nodded, then remembered something and turned back to Pantherclaw, "have you met my apprentice, Snakepaw?" he asked, flicking his tail and signaling me to pull closer. I did so, keeping my tail low, but Pantherclaws' sharp eyes caught it and they widened, "He's my son."

Pantherclaw nodded eyes cold, "A two tailed rat is a perfect son for you," he flicked his tail and motioned to the apprentices, "C'mon, we're leaving this place."

Blackstripe smirked, "Jerk," he grinned, then nosed me, "I want you to go hunting for the rest of the day," he meowed quietly, "Be back before nightfall, and don't stray near the borders." I nodded and darted back into the territory, but then curiosity caught the better of me and I turned back, slipping into a bush nearby and crawling forward on my belly, listening.

"_They're _trying it!" snarled Darkflower; I had never seen her so frustrated before. Her tail, which has unusually longer fur then the rest of her body, was fluffed up, making it easily look three times its normal size. Blackstripe lowered his gaze, ignoring her, "Blackstripe, why won't you-"

"I'm _not_ going to be your mate," he snapped suddenly, then I sensed his temper rise, and braced myself, when Blackstripe got mad, he got mad. But then his shoulders slumped, and he lowered his head again.

"Pick me," meowed Darkflower quietly, moving to his side, "I want to be with you, Blackstripe, I want this to work." Blackstripe didn't respond and Darkflower reached to him with a paw, "I love you, Blackstripe."

He shook his head and pulled away, snorting, "I have a patrol to finish." He whisked around and continued up the border, and Darkflower lowered her head and sighed.

I turned and followed Blackstripe up border, continuing to stay out of sight, and slipping into another bush. Brownstripe had meet up with Blackstripe now, and the two toms were sitting together under a burnt tree.

"She really loves you," murmured Brownstripe, shoving a fresh mouse towards Blackstripe, "You should give her a chance."

"I'm old enough to be her father," grumbled Blackstripe, "I don't know why she chose me."

"I would jump at the chance," yawned Brownstripe, "she's young and fit, perfect to be a mother. Go on, you'll like it."

"And when she turns around when our kits are warriors, she'll see an elder instead of a warrior, and want a young one." He sighed, "I can't love her back."

_Feelings are like stones. You can throw them, and they can hit a cat right on the head, or they can miss completely. What I witnessed that day though, it wasn't a hit and it wasn't a miss either. I came to realize that what I had witnessed was a torn love. Darkflower, who loved Blackstripe with all of her heart, wanted to be with him, wanted to grow with him and die with him and have kits with him. Blackstripe, however, didn't want that, he wanted to grow old and die alone, without Darkflower, he wanted her to find someone else, for her to be happier longer, and not to grieve when he died before her._

_For the time being I didn't know why. For the time, I thought that love was nothing, that it bonded two cats and created young. But then I realized it. Love was complex; it was a matter of the pride of taking a mate and the strength to defend them. Love was more then just a kit-making guidance, it was something that lived and breathed and died._

_Which it had done inside of me._


	5. To Reach For

**Cinderdreams: thank you, I don't think this one is as good, but please enjoy the chapter!**

**Runningstorm: Thank you, this story is far from over**

**Cloudfire: Sad, isn't it? Poor, poor, Darkflower...**

**Shad Who Sulks In Shadows: That I cannot tell you, it would spoil the future.**

**Pebblepaw: You'll see...**

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_How would you want to die? I asked that to Darkflower once. She looked over at me, really strangely and a little surprised, then glanced towards Blackstripe and laughed softly, and told me 'Anyway, as long I'm with the one I love'. I was so confused then, before I knew that love was alive, and that it was a struggle. I was so ignorant then, it seemed, and now when I look back at myself, I feel nothing but shame and regret for thinking of such thoughts. _

_I don't care._

_Anyway as long as I don't feel pain._

_Those were what I thought. But now that I think of it. I don't want to die like that. I don't want to not care about where I die or who I die with. I want to be able to choose. I want… I want…_

The moment I woke up that morning I knew leaf-bare had arrived. The air was crispy and cool, blowing fresh from the north. The other apprentices were also asleep; I always woke up first in the winter. There was no snow yet, but one could tell it was coming. I crawled out of the den and stretched, glancing around. Darkflower and Blackstripe were sitting together, talking, and glanced over towards me when their heard my pawsteps.

"Snakepaw!" they called, and I hurried over, feeling a bright glow, something about this day was going to be great. And as I neared, Darkflowers' eyes were glowing, and Blackstripe was smiling softly.

"After you fell asleep Smokestar announced that we're taking the Clearing." He meowed quietly. I felt my heart in my chest beat quicker. An invasion! I could hardly wait, and flexed my claws. The Clearing rightfully belonged to ShadowClan, every Clan knew that, and that the ThunderClan wretches had stolen it from right under our nose.

I would enjoy having the Clearing as part of my Clans' territory, it was wide and clear and perfect for practicing hunting and training apprentices. At least, that's what I can observe from across the river. Before I was born ThunderClan finally handed over their territory and the twoleg path, giving us equal territory. But recently ThunderClan had claimed the Greenleaf Twolegplace, and now, once again to balance out the territories, were making a strike at the Clearing.

I could hardly wait, and ate my breakfast quickly, spending twice as much time that morning stretching and play fighting with Blackstripe. Slowly the other cats woke and the news circulated. Smokestar then came out of his den and announced it formally, choosing the warriors and apprentices to go.

"Of course, Blackstripe will go," he meowed, and then looked through the clearing, "I want Brownstripe and Goldensun as well. Wetfoot, Frostfoot, Bluestorm. A few apprentices… Bronzepaw and Graypaw, and Snakepaw should do." I felt my chest swell in pride; I was chosen to go to the invasion! I glanced over to Blackstripe, eyes bright, and he smiled, "And… Darkflower." Blackstripes' eyes darkened and he looked towards my father, eyes harsh. I followed his gaze, but Smokestar wasn't looking at his brother, and was instead dismissing the Clan and making his way back to the nursery. Blackstripe followed him and I crept after them, curious.

"Diamondshine, how are you feeling?" I heard my fathers' voice talking to my mother when I slipped into a fern covering, the shadows hiding my pelt, "Are you well?" I heard Diamondshine laugh softly.

"I'm fine, Smokestar. This litter will be larger then the last one," she said, and I felt a spark of joy, I would have more siblings! I was sure they would look exactly like mother, her genes were stronger then fathers, and it was rare for me to have his pelt.

"Smokestar, may I talk to you?" _ahah_! Here it was: the drama I was looking for. Blackstripe had slipped into the nursery now, and was calling his brother out. I adjusted my view, so I could see Blackstripe and Smokestar talking right outside of the nursery.

"Darkflower?" hissed Blackstripe, fur bristling, "Smokestar I told you last night-"

"She should be fine," snapped Smokestar, "it's too soon for her body to show weakness, and with luck we won't even have to fight beyond scent markings. Now, go and organize the attack."

"But, listen to me, Smokestar, as a brother-"

"_Go_," he snapped, then spun around and slipped back into the nursery. Blackstripe sighed, and turned back to the clan, at once shouting out to the Clan.

"Every warrior with an apprentice, keep them by you at all times!" he yowled, "Snakepaw will be with me. Brownstripe, don't go dying on me in this battle. _No_, Marshpaw, you can't come along. No, neither can you, Silverpaw. Yes, I know you're Smokestars children but you're too young. Now… Stoneheart, can you take these too out hunting today, and double a border patrol as well with it? RiverClan, please, we'll be busy on the ThunderClan edge. Thank you."

Before I knew it we were padding through the underbrush together, side-by-side, me, Blackstripe, and Darkflower. I swished my two tails tensely, no one was talking, and all of their eyes were fixed ahead of us, where my proud and elegant father was leading us. We neared the river that was the new border between ThunderClan and ShadowClan, and one-by-one we jumped over by the stones, or wadded through the narrow shallow areas. I shivered, the water was cold today.

We were in the clearing. It was better then I imaged, really, the ground was much softer and the grass was much greener too, at once I was comfortable. Smokestar and Blackstripe sat in the middle of the clearing as the rest of the warriors began scent marking the area, I lay back, preferring to enjoy the day rather then mark new territory.

"What the stars?" a new voice bloomed, and every cat turned to see Pantherclaw and two other warriors, with an apprentice, who I quickly recognized to be Petalpaw. Blackstripe smirked and I stood. Pantherclaws' eyes flickered from me and my split tail to Blackstripe and then to Smokestar, "Smokestar, what are you doing on ThunderClan territory?" he demanded, "Get off!"

"On the contrary, Pantherclaw," meowed Blackstripe coolly, "You're on ShadowClan territory. Now, get off before you run into something…" he flexed his claws, "sharp."

Pantherclaw snarled, "Never!" hissed Pantherclaw, "We'll protect our territory at any cost, no matter what the odds!"

"Firestars' kittypet blood runs strong through you!" laughed Blackstripe, "You'll die!" he flicked a tail, "Tear them apart!" He and several other warriors launched themselves at the small ThunderClan patrol. I too, was caught up in the fight.

I found myself to be one of the three to face Pantherclaw. The others were Blackstripe and Bluestorm. We took turns, diving in when we saw a chance to nip, or draw a hint of blood. Finally Blackstripe launched himself at Pantherclaw, bowling him over, and we jumped on him, tearing into his flesh and tasting his tangy blood.

There was a sudden yowl, and Blackstripe spun around, releasing his grip on Pantherclaw and letting him escape. Bluestorm let out a snarl and chased after him, while I followed Blackstripe. Before I knew it I was fighting a large, old ThunderClan warrior with a long scar over one eye. He snarled and lunged towards me, his teeth were unusually long. I scrambled away, terrified, and scratched out at him as he neared for another bite, reopening that old, ugly scar.

He howled and struck me, and I was knocked backwards, towards the river. Stumbled to regain my footsteps, a body suddenly jostled me, and I felt my paws slip. I turned, eyes wide in terror, and let out a howl of shock as my back legs collided with the icy river water. It was deep in this area, and I felt nothing but numbness for the time.

I spotted Petalpaw; she was racing towards me, eyes wide with surprise. She skidded on the grass, it was slick with blood, and reached out a paw to help me up. But she was knocked away by a ShadowClan warrior who hadn't seen me, and tumbled back towards her mentor. Now I felt my grip on the ground loosen, and I felt my body slip into the numbing water.

_Now that I thought about it, I would like to die how Darkflower put it. To die any way, as long as you were with the one you loved. I was terrified of the water, and I still am to this day. I couldn't swim, the current was powerful. The pulled me down. I was unable to move from the cold unable to breathe. Unable to..._

_Were most would start reaching for the light to save them, to stretch a paw towards the surface and wish for someone to be there and grab it. I reached towards the murky darkness, reaching out for someone to pull me in, to let me float away into nothing and be nothing. To die. _


	6. The Darkness of Nothing

**Cloudfire: Yeah, he won't die any time soon. I like this story, i think i'll continue it for a while now XD. Anyways, don't listen to me, read and review!**

**C.T. Eleckzo: cool**

**Rabbitstorm: hehehe... well here it is!**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: Thank you!**

**Pinkpelt: Right away XD**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Well, you'll just have to find out**

**CinderDreams: Yes! And now i updated again!**

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_Sometimes, despite all of what my uncle and Darkflower do for me, I feel… forgotten. Well, I always feel forgotten because of Diamondshine, but in a way, I always kind of liked being forgotten. I felt like I was nothing, and that there was no such thing as me, and that every emotion I felt was nothing, and that I didn't exist. I felt like nothing, and I loved it. And then, as I stretched a paw towards the oncoming darkness, I felt the same thing. The same pang of nothingness followed by the wash of smoothing relief it gave._

"_**Look, darling, it seems we have another one,**_" a soft, female voice cut through into my ears, and I weakly opened my eyes. There was no one around me, and nothing but darkness surrounded me. However, I felt two presences shift by my body, one distinctly motherly, and the other fierce and proud.

"_**He's so cute, can we keep him too?**_" the female voice asked again, and I felt a gentle lick on one of my ears. I closed my eyes again, feeling them burn. However, the lick pulled away as quickly as it came, leaving my slightly empty inside.

"_**No, my love,**_" now it was a masculine voice, defiantly male and very calm, "_**He had a great future ahead of him. We mustn't hold him back.**_" I heard someone snort.

"_**Oh phooey,**_" she sniffed, then I felt a gentle prod and felt my body brush against something, "_**We might as well give him back then**_." There was a meow of agreement and then two strong pushes and I felt my body bump up against something.

I opened my eyes, surprised by a sudden flash of light from the setting sun. It was so cold. I moved my limbs, they were stiff, and I felt my muscles bruised. From the position I was in I could see the island, I was near ShadowClan territory, but I was in RiverClan. I pulled my legs under me and began gently putting weight onto them, wincing as I felt one of my back paws send a spike of pain through me.

I stood shakily on three legs, dripping wet and shivering. The mud from the lake threatened to pull me in. Before I could stop, I felt my feet slip beneath me, and I crashed to my side again, letting out a hot breath as an icy wind blew over me.

"You are… Snakepaw?" a quiet voice jump started my survival instincts. I leapt to my paws, regretting it as a rush of dizziness rushed to my head, but I swallowed it, and bristled. I calmed down almost at once. It was Bluepaw, the RiverClan apprentice I had met at the Gathering. She looked concerned, and quickly padded over to me, through the icy water.

"Y-yes," I answered, shaking from the cold. She sniffed my body and nodded.

"You're not badly hurt," she murmured, "But you have to get back to your clan before you catch a sickness. Here, let me help you." She hurried to my injured side and supported my shoulder, and I lowered my head in thanks.

"You have a split tail," meowed Bluepaw simply, and I pulled back in surprise, quickly hiding it from view. She shrugged, "I guess you were hiding something at the Gathering, just like how Broadpaw said." She smiled softly, "But that's alright, I'm fine with a friend who's a little bit different."

I had to smile now. She was so kind, like she knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. We walked together along the lake, slowly, partially because of my injured shoulder, and partially because we enjoyed each others presence. We talked endlessly, about fishing in rivers and hunting at night. The sunrise and sunset during leaf-bare and leaf-fall. Badger attacks, fox hunting, chasing down mice and voles and sharing hunting and sparring secrets. She made me feel happy, just with a kind smile and a few gentle words.

But there was also something lingering in her. Not in her eyes or in her gait, but in her body. Whenever our fur brushed on accident, or our eyes met, she would quickly avoid my gaze or pull away, almost like a reflex. I decided not to think of these things, it would just be a hindrance for our friendship. And so we talked even more, until we reached the Thunderpath.

"Well, I guess this is good-bye for now," she smiled softly again, I flicked my twin tails happily and nodded, Bluepaw laughed again, "I hope I'll see you at the Gathering, or on a border patrol soon." I nodded and turned to start over the Thunderpath when Bluepaw suddenly called me back.

"Before you go, Snakepaw," murmured Bluepaw, glancing awkwardly down at her paws, "I was curious. Um, why do you want to be a warrior?"

I felt a ripple of confusion jolt through me. Why would I want to be a warrior? What kind of ridicules question was that? It was stupid, it was devoid, it was…

Something I had never asked myself. And now I did. I lowered my gaze, and my heart, my dark heart, creaked open and let out a little of itself, placing me at my most vulnerable point, my psychological weakness.

"I want to be remembered," I finally said, admitting it to her and myself at the same time, "I want to be told about in stories as a great leader, and be a legend for hundreds of kits to listen to and pass on for generations to come. I want to be the leader that's feared by every other leader in the forest, head of a powerful Clan that could destroy another with a single swipe and strong enough to protect even the smallest kit from a flood. I want to be remembered for saving the clan in a time of need, and to have others bask in the radiant glow I want to surround me."

I froze up, horrified at what I had just said. How could I be so selfish? It was so, so, egoistical. And yet, that was what I wanted. I didn't want to become nothing, and float into nothingness. Bluepaw was looking at me, with her eyes like clear flower petals filled with a strange emotion. Accepting, understanding, and maybe even love. But I couldn't face her. I couldn't even breathe. I had to turn and dart across the Thunderpath, back to the territory that was my home, my home that treated me as nothing.

I almost crawled to the camp later on because I was so exhausted. It was nearly midnight by the time I got back, and when I entered the camp I was greeted with a snarl of surprise from Goldensun, though it was quickly cut short from a cry or amazement from Brownstripe, who jumped over to me and caught me as I stumbled to the ground.

Blackstripe slipped out of the warriors' den, alerted by the call from his long-term rival and raced over, picking me up and laughing happily. Darkflower soon joined him, bathing me in furious licks and giggles. Smokestar slipped out of the nursery, followed by Diamondshine, and Silverpaw and Marshpaw poked their heads out of the apprentice den.

I laughed softly, but felt my eyes begin to roll and my vision begin to swim. With a groan I collapsed, falling asleep in the middle of the camp clearing. And I dreamed.

I didn't dream of Darkflower and Blackstripe this time though, I dreamed of change. I was in darkness, and the only thing besides me was a vibrant, red rose, curled into a bud and sprinkled in dew. I watched as a trickle of light beamed down from above, and one of the petals of the rose twitched open and the rose began to bloom.

_I never thought I would actually fall in love with Bluepaw at one time in my life. She was wonderful, kind and curious, but there was something about her that was different, almost sad. She helped me feel remembered, feel important, feel like I was actually apart of something and not just another ShadowClan apprentice. Years later I still remember her and her dark green eyes and dark blue-gray fur. I would also hear that she was a descendant of Bluestar, one of the ThunderClan leaders, who had given her kits to RiverClan where her mate was. One of them, Mistystar, was known to be Bluepaws' direct ancestor. _

_But that night I dreamt of not only Bluepaw, but also of a brown-and-white tabby she-cat with friendly green eyes._

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**Well, got a little bit of a love triangle working out here. I don't really like forbidden romances though, so, well, something is going to happen to Bluepaw or Petalpaw further down the road. What, I'm not going to tell you. But I'm afraid Snakepaw is destined for another she-cat in his life.**

**Now review.**

**The poll is still open**

**RiverClan or ThunderClan**

**Which one do you like better?**


	7. Cracks of Weakness

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: hehehe, i like this chapter, enjoy!**

**Pinkpelt: righto, vote in for RiverClan...**

**CinderDreams: Yeah, WindClan is my favorite Clan too...**

**Couldfire: Yeah, this one isn't as deep as the last chapter, or the chapter i think i was 'what lives and breathes and die' or at least, thats what it used to be called...**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: ooo... i like Silversnow and Marshpool...**

**Stormfurs' Sweetie: Yeah, i want them to be freinds too...**

**RunningStorm: np, i like philosophical peoples**

**MoonfireSpan23: Meh, i'm too lazy to fix it, maybe i will when im bored XD**

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_My father is the greatest leader in the forest, even now, in the falling of my years, I see him as the greatest, and even some of my friends from other clans agree with me, he was a powerful leader, full of pride and wisdom. His voice would carry across the Great Oak and sweep through the cats of the Island, like a swift-flowing river, some cats found his presence far too much to handle. _

_My father was like a boulder, hard and unwavering.._

I groaned and rolled over, feeling my body reel and by belly constrict. My vision was blurred, my eyes burned, my body was icy. Next to me Marshpaw glanced over and signaled to Silverpaw, who both crept over and put a paw on my body, recoiling almost at once.

"He's as hot as fire!" whispered Silverpaw, "Marshpaw, go and get Brownleaf!" He turned and hurried away as she rolled me over and I pulled away from her, closing my eyes. My body was so cold, so freezing like the water that had numbed my body.

Marshpaw returned with the ShadowClan Medicine Cat Brownleaf, a rusty-jointed and grumbling brown long-haired tom with mottled black and gray patches. He pushed Silverpaw away and sniffed me, then rolled his eyes and eased me to my paws.

"Kits, look at the first case of whitecough of the season," he growled, "Get out of the way, he has to get to my den." The two other apprentices pulled back, clearly intimidated by the old toms' presence, as he led me out of the apprentice den and across the clearing. My body was so cold; I began trembling as a crisp breeze ruffled my fur.

"Great, you have a fever as well," he sniffed, settling me down in a mossy nest at the back of his den, I had often seen cats ill with greencough and whitecough and blackcough sleeping here, but had never imagined myself having it. He shuffled through his herbs and placed three things in front of me, two large, dark leaves and a poppy head.

"Eat only a few poppy seeds," he grumbled, continuing to shuffle through his supplies, "The feverfew will bring down your temperature and well, warm you up in your case. The poppy seed will help you rest, after your tumble in the river a day ago I imagine you're still exhausted and your immune system is lacking."

I nodded and chewed on the leaves, ignoring the bitter taste, and swallowed a few poppy seeds. I groaned, sinking into the soft mossy nest, my exhaustion peeking and letting me drift into a dreamless sleep.

Well, I wasn't fully asleep, it was more like a half sleep, I felt my body resting and my mind drifting, but heard the voices of all the cats to visit Brownleaf while I was asleep, it was quite unusual, really, and I rather enjoyed the feeling.

"Brownleaf? I heard Snakepaw was in here," a familiar meow reached my ears, Blackstripe was coming to look for me even before my father, "Oh, I see. What's he ill with?"

"Whitecough and a fever," I heard Brownleafs' gruff meow now, he still sounded distracted, and "We'll need more feverfew and catmint now. Oh shucks, where did that Chickweed go? Stars, I need more of that too."

"Would you like me to go and collect some?" Blackstripe asked, "He is my brothers' son. I would like to do all I can for him." I heard Brownleaf sniff.

"Smokestar should be the one asking to look for herbs," he growled, "I would take Darkflower as well, I believe most of it grows near the Greenleaf Twolegplace though, that calls for an invasion. Catmint can be found near the RiverClan border though. Good luck collecting all of it. But with the thrashing he took yesterday I doubt he can survive even a small infection like this, especially if it escalates to blackcough."

"He will survive," growled Blackstripe, "I still have a lot to teach him."

After a while there was age of quiet, and when I was roused from my sleep, Brownleaf gave me two more leaves of Feverfew since my fever hadn't gone down, and three more poppy seeds. I went back to sleep under similar circumstances.

A new scent entered the den, female, and strong. I was surprise, it was Darkflower. She had brought herbs too, I could smell them.

"I brought everything but the catmint," she meowed, "Blackstripe is heading to the RiverClan border now to collect some." Brownleaf chuckled and I was slightly surprised, I had never heard the old tom laugh before.

"I have a weakness for cute she-cats," he laughed, "It's easy for me to get irritated at Blackstripe, but he seems like a fine, strong tom. You're a lucky she-cat, you know that."

I felt Darkflower shift uneasily, "But my illness…" she murmured, and I could tell Brownleaf was beginning to frown.

"Only Smokestar, Blackstripe, you, and I know," he meowed plainly, "But it is true. You're mother had the same disease. You know the extent of the illness, correct?"

"My body will slowly get more and frailer," she murmured, "I'll sleep less and less, my bones will become as brittle as dry leaves. And slowly my heart will stop beating." She sighed, "It happens over three seasons, so I have three seasons left."

"Left to what?" asked Brownleaf. I felt Darkflower smile softly.

"To make Blackstripe love me."

Time passed again, and when I woke Brownleaf gave me many more herbs to eat. My fever still had not gone down, but it hadn't gotten any higher either. She gave me four leaves of feverfew now, and a few leaves of chickweed as well. Blackstripe still hadn't arrived with the catmint though, and she gave me even more poppy seeds to sleep. My body was still icy, and I could hardly shift my body without hitting a bruised muscle or bone.

Now a new scent wafted through the spicy herbs, my father had finally come to visit me.

"I heard Snakepaw has whitecough," he meowed, "Will he be alright?"

"Whitecough and a fever," growled Brownleaf, "His fever won't go down, no matter how much feverfew I give him. I give him poppy seeds every time he wakes up to dull his pain. I'm going to see if there's anymore lavender in the territory later on; mixed with feverfew I've never known it not to bring down a fever. But coupled with his incident yesterday his immune system is weak, and the infection is spreading to greencough. I need more chickweed and catmint."

"He will live though, right?" demanded Smokestar, "The snow is beginning to fall thickly, and it's almost a mouse length deep now. We need Snakepaw and his hunting skills to help collect more food-"

"Smokestar, with the condition your sons' in right now, you should be more concerned about saving his life then making him go out on a hunting patrol!" bristled Brownleaf, "There's another reason you came to visit me, isn't there? You've never shown this much concern for Snakepaw before. What's the matter this time?"

Smokestar shifted, "Blackstripe," he murmured. Brownleaf groaned and prodded my side with a paw, partially to make sure I was asleep and partially to check my temperature.

"I feel… overshadowed," Smokestar confessed to the old medicine cat, "Like, I'm not worthy to be leader. And sometimes when I fall asleep at night, I think that he should be leader instead of me. That was one of the reasons I picked him as my deputy. He's so close to the clan, it's like the clan is his family, and not just me. And Snakepaw, he's more of a father to Snakepaw then me, he even mentors him more then me. He's perfect to be leader, and I'm not, I'm…" he grumbled, "Prejudice."

"You warriors always have so many issues," growled Brownleaf, "Blackstripe is having issues with Darkflower; you're having issues with Blackstripe. Brownstripe is jealous of Blackstripes' love for Darkflower. Snakepaw is ill with whitecough, and I'm only here to listen to you all complain!" he snarled, "Get out of my den, before I change your name to Nostar when I bite off your tail!"

Smokestar grumbled and left, and a few moments later I opened my eyes. Brownleaf was clearly flustered and pushed a few herbs towards me, I spotted the soft violet petals o lavender in the feverfew, and groaned, rolling over and leaning towards the herbs.

"My father is having troubles with Blackstripe?" I murmured, Brownleaf groaned and nodded.

"Take your herbs," he grumbled, and I did as I was told.

_I guess I overestimated my father. He's so strong though, his muscles are like twined iron and his mind is straightforward and unwavering. At least, I thought it was. But as I laid there on the mossy nest, almost delirious from so many poppy seeds and herbs being taken, whitecough was plaguing my chest and lungs. I realized something. That even the strongest, thickest, heaviest and densest boulders had their cracks of weakness._

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**POLL IS CLOSED**

**Anyways, here's a new question**

**answer it in your review**

**and i'll give you...**

**a Snakepaw snowglobe!**

**Here's the question...**

**DO YOU THINK THAT DARKFLOWER AND BLACKSTRIPE WILL GET TOGEATHER, and, IF YES, WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR KITS WILL BE LIKE?**

**Go ahead and answer!**

**Share your opinion!**

**State the facts!**

**Just review!**

**And i'll write morer!**


	8. Colors

**Ewwies... -pokes chapter- i hate this chapter. I feel i went a little off-topic off on this one, and i appologies. Anyways, bear with me when it comes to this chapter... I promise i'll make the next one better. And before you ask how many chapters this story'll have, I have over eighty ideas planned out. So, be ready for a long, long, haul.**

**Pinkpelt: Well, that certainly makes sence, doesn't it?**

**CinderDreams: hehehe, always best to be unsure.**

**Cloudfire: IF he really loves her...**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: Well, that's a good idea, maybe later...**

**Runningstorm: Yeah, everyone has their issues.**

**I Be Guest: Lol, but he's the leader!**

**Redtails' Lov - Grassfeather: Oo, i may consider those names for the future...**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Hehehe, i loved writing that chapter as well...**

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_When I was little and my life was just beginning its' terrible downfall, I saw only in black and white, literally. But now, in the beginning of my life as a warrior, I still see only in colors. Not literally, but mentally. Life isn't as zesty as it is to you and I, I can only enjoy the flowers for their looks, not their color or their scent. Because when Diamondshine cast me out of her life, her body, and her memories, I felt as if the world had really lost all of its' color, and I could do nothing but watch as the black overpowered the white and my fate began to seal itself falsely in my mind._

It was a full moon before Brownleaf even let me _walk_ outside of the Medicine Cat den, and another seven moonrises before she told me I could return to training. I had a slight wheeze in my chest though, and she gave me herbs everyday to lessen it.

From the fever though, my muscles had grown loose and flexible, surprising many cats that I play fought with, even Darkflower and Blackstripe. Everyone knew I was ready for my warrior ceremony, even Smokestar, though he chose to ignore me.

Darkflower was growing onto Blackstripe as well, I often found them together, sometimes Blackstripe would be relaxing and Darkflower would be curled at his side, asleep, or they would be hunting or eating together.

All of the apprentices were beginning to change. Graypaw and Bronzepaw, who are one moon younger them me, were beginning to lengthen and broadened, and once they filled in would make intimidating warriors. I had already filled in, and was taller then Blackstripe and Darkflower. Silverpaw and Marshpaw were growing too, but differently. Where Marshpaw grew broad shoulders and longer legs, Silverpaw only grew long legs.

Diamondshine was right too; her litter would be a large one. Her belly was already swollen like a balloon, and she ate quite a lot. Smokestar spent every moment he could with her, laying much of the trust of ordering the cats around on Blackstripes' shoulders. Blackstripe was beginning to test me as well, often sending me out on border patrols alone to see what I would do.

Today was one of these days, I had been picked to go alone over the ThunderClan border twice, and then hunt afterwards. I was eager to prove myself, the clan was starving from leaf-bare and one or two cat patrols were common now that most of the warriors were sent out hunting. I trotted up along the river, careful to keep a good two foxlengths between me and it, the fear of drowning still clear in my mind.

As I turned around the bend of the river, a fresh scent hit my nose. I blinked and twitched my ears, recognizing it. It was Petalpaws, and I raced farther upstream before skidding to a halt as a second scent hit my nose, Pantherclaw. I jumped into a holly bush just as they passed into view, apparently on a border patrol.

"Petalpaw, why are you so quiet today?" demanded Pantherclaw with a sharp growl, "Usually you're as talkative as the elders when their bored. Your warrior ceremony is tonight, aren't you happy about it?"

I flicked my ears; Petalpaw was having her warrior ceremony tonight? Lucky her, she must be about the same age and me and she's getting her ceremony first! Petalpaw flicked her ears and looked down, shifting her weight onto her paws quietly.

"Don't be a mute;" snarled Pantherclaw, "As your mentor I'm to tell you what it's like to be a warrior as an individual as well as a team." He rolled his eyes, "At least, that's what Oceanwind says. So let's see…" he sat down on the forest floor and flicked his tail, "Being a warrior as an individual, everything is… colored, normally, like the leaves being green and the sky being blue. But as a group…" he frowned, "Being in a group slows you down. Never be in a group."

Petalpaw looked up, surprised, the mewed something quietly under her breath. Pantherclaw looked towards her sharply. Fur on the back of his neck prickling.

"What did you say?" He demanded.

"I said, I think that being in a group, being a team, as part of a team, is more…" Petalpaw hesitated, and then decided to use Pantherclaws' metaphor, "colorful." She smiled, "I think that… I think that everything may be sharper, exotic, and more colorful in a team, because there's more sets of eyes to see and noses to smell and ears to hear. I would never want to be on my own." Pantherclaw flicked his tail irritably as Petalpaw shifted her gaze to the lake.

"I'm lucky I have good friends like Wavepaw and Tricklepaw." She meowed more confidently, "Because I'm never alone. I mean, mentally, not physically, because there's nothing more painful then being alone. And if you really are alone, there's nothing to appreciate, not the leaves or the sky or the prey. If you're alone, there's no color to the world."

"Don't go dreaming like that all day," growled Pantherclaw, standing and flicking his tail, "Honestly, you're my most spacey apprentice yet. Come on, now, you're warrior ceremony is waiting for you."

Petalpaw and Pantherclaw left. But I remained. I dug my claws into the ground and bent my head towards the ground, dipping it into a small puddle of salty water. I felt my eyes burn, my heart ache. And that was the first time I cried because I was happy.

_Petalpaw taught me. Without even knowing she taught me that I wasn't alone. Because the world is exotic to me. It's new and beautiful and just perfect. Perfect, meaning that it's the way it should be, with all of its' imperfections. With all of its' exotic colors. With all of its' exotic smells. With all of its colors. And with those colors, friendship, a sharper view of life, and a knowledge that you are never, never alone. _

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**See what i mean? I hate this chapter. Anyways, Poll time!**

**WHAT SHOULD SNAKEPAWS' WARRIOR NAME OUT OF - **

**1 - Snakeheart**

**2 - Snaketail**

**3 - Snakefang**

**4 - Snakefrost**

**or 5 - Snakestrike**

**Review your answer!**


	9. Teamwork

**EWWWWW!!! I aploigise for this chapter everyone! It sucks!**

**Pebblepaw: UWAH! No, not Tigerstar!**

**Sleets: Lol, not anytime soon, I have a ton of chapters planned out for just Snakepaws' saga**

**ThrustflightEdwards'Stalker: Lol, yeah, i guess i did XD**

**Bristlefur: Thanks, that's what i was aiming for, it's really hard to write too, and i love challenges!**

**Cloudfire: Maybes, but you'll just have to see, won't you...**

**Rainstorm: But what about Petalpaw?**

**Frostfoot: Lol, you're the one of the reviewers who says Snaketail isn't the best**

**Cinderdreams: It does make sences...**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: It's alright, they can be meanyheads togeather!**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Hehehe, now just for Snakepaw to decide...**

**Runningstorm: Don't colors really make the world go 'round?**

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_As a kit and as an apprentice, I was taught how to do things on my own. To fetch fresh-kill from the pile of food when the apprentices were bogged down with too much to do. To hunt alone, develop my own techniques and tricks to stalk down prey. To dug my paws into the soft mud and pull as hard as I could to pull myself out of quicksand. When I fight too, I fight alone. The only time I have fought with others was when we were fighting Pantherclaw, and even then I found myself restricted, even though my senses were heightened by those around me. _

_I was detached._

I woke before everyone else in the Apprentice Den like every other day in leaf-bare, and shook the moss from my dark pelt before slipping outside. I saw Blackstripe and Darkflower sitting together near the entrance of the camp, whispering to each other and sharing a pigeon. I smiled softly, feeling happiness for Darkflower, Blackstripe was just beginning to open up to her and accept her.

I heard a grumble and turned around, spotting Brownstripe a tail-length behind me, his brown-and-white coat shone brighter then normal, it was freshly groomed. He glanced at me and flicked a tail to Blackstripe and Darkflower.

"Public display of affection," he growled, spinning around and stalking back into the warriors' den, as if to get more sleep. I looked back at him, and then back towards my uncle and foster mother, who had spotted me and beckoned me with a wave of his tail. I hurried over, raising my split tail high over my head in pride. Blackstripe smiled and Darkflower giggled as I neared, jumping to a halt in front of them.

"We're practicing a different kind of training today," meowed Blackstripe as I sat down, curling my tail around my paws and listening attentively. For the third time in two days I took note that I was taller then him. Blackstripe noticed this to, and straitened up, "Team training, I'll explain more about it when we go out, have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head, no. Blackstripe flicked his tail to the dwindling fresh-kill pile, frowning slightly, "Take one," he meowed, "I'd better send all two-cat patrols today, the fresh-kill pile is looking pathetic," he shrugged, "But then again, it is leaf-bare. Darkflower, will you go out hunting today?" the small black she-cat nodded, and Blackstripe turned back to me, "Go eat, I have to find another cat real fast."

I nodded and hurried over to the fresh-kill pile, picking out a frog to eat. I didn't like toads so much, which were one of the main choices, because they gave my bellyaches. I turned and hurried over to the nursery, to a specific area where I could see in but not be seen. I peered in, munching on my frog; Diamondshine was sleeping, her belly swollen twice as large with unborn kits.

Blackstripe returned, this time with Bluestorm, a slim, blue-gray she-cat. I had seen her fight before, against Pantherclaw, and again with another cat at the border skirmish. She was a skilled warrior, highly, actually, fast and sharp-clawed, but not as strong as Blackstripe. Blackstripe had once mentioned when I was seven moons old that Bluestorm was the shoe-in for being deputy if he died.

"We're training with Bluestorm today," meowed Blackstripe, flicking his tail, "Get up, we have to go now if we're going to get this down by tonight." I nodded and got up, swallowing the last of my frog. Blackstripe flicked his tail and bounded out of the camp, quickly followed by Bluestorm and then me. We rushed through the forest, only pausing to rest once we entered the training clearing, a soft, grassy clearing at the heart of our territory.

"Snakepaw, this is an assessment," meowed Blackstripe, flicking his tail again to gesture me to the center of the clearing, "Bluestorm and I will attack you simultaneously to see if we can hold you down or chase you away. Defend only, as best as you can." I nodded, flicking my tail happily, this would be easy!

In the beginning it was, too, Blackstripe and Bluestorm took turned battling at me with sheathed paws, which I dodged easily, backing up or jumping through quickly, careful not to get caught my with paws or get to close to their teeth, which nipped at me. But then, as if some invisible signal had gone off, I found myself panicking. The attacking was coming rapidly. I had no time to think as I dodged, weaved, and blocked.

They weren't moving any faster, I noticed, but their movement was confusing me. They spun and weaved, even as they raced back towards me, making it hard for my to lock onto them and dodge their paws, and even when they did take a strike at me, if I dodge one I would have to double back and dodge the other, which came down in the opposite direction. I found myself tiring quickly, but continuing to dodge, much to the amusement of my uncle and his friend.

"Very good," meowed Blackstripe, nodding to Bluestorm, who backed away, "I see you're good at defending yourself against two attackers, but what about working with another cat?" I blinked, surprised at what he was saying. Huh?

He chucked at my confused face, flicking an ear to Bluestorm, who padded over to me and stood next to me, "Try it again, this time I defend and you two attack." I glanced at Bluestorm, who nodded quietly.

"It's one of the most important subjects in fighting," she meowed. I nodded, fur standing up apprehensively on the back of my neck. Blackstripe planted his paws firmly into the ground, and I looked towards Bluestorm, who nodded. We both rushed in, and I allowed Bluestorm to take the first strike at Blackstripes' head. She missed, and now I jumped in, chasing Blackstripe backwards but not landing a hit on him.

Bluestorm leapt back in, batting at his shoulders with her small paws, but growling in frustration as he dodged again and leapt closer to me. I saw my chance and jumped in, but before I could he jumped away just as nimbly and landed softly on the grass. Bluestorm helped me to my paws and we raced in together again, but it seemed like whenever I attacked, Blackstripe jumped away to a safe location, giving him more then enough time to dodge Bluestorms' next attack.

On the verge of frustration I darted after Blackstripe as he jumped away and was attacked by Bluestorm, leaping to his haunches and catching him off guard, sending him scooting away in surprise to a safe place. Then, suddenly, it just clicked, and everything fell into order. Bluestorm knew as well, we breathed together, our paws pounded in the same rhythm as we raced to Blackstripe side-by-side. He ducked and dodged our moves with great difficulty now, wincing as Bluestorm caught his head with her paw and thrust it towards the ground, pinning him down.

"Good work," meowed Blackstripe, jumping back to his paws and shaking out his fur, "I see you caught it halfway through. We're practicing teamwork today. Warrior skills don't only depend on one-on-one, but also two-on-one and one-on-two. And so on and so forth. The key is to connect with your partner, like how Bluestorm and I did against you and you and Bluestorm did against me. Great job, Snakepaw, I'd say you're ready for your warrior ceremony soon."

I felt my chest swell with raw pride, my warrior ceremony! It was about time too! I was nearly thirteen moons old; I had taken my trip to Moonpool, and had gone to the gathering. I was ready, completely and utterly, not wanting to be held back another moment.

_Teamwork: that was the lesson of the day. Not the sweat or the skills, it doesn't matter as long as you're connected with another, you breathe together, smell together, your pawsteps move as one. Even when you're not realizing it, and you're walking alongside your friends during a border patrol, you're connected, you're a team. Your minds are in motion, so at the flick of an ear you can separate for three heartbeats and jump back together after just going around a fallen tree without missing a beat. Teamwork, I learned that day, was better that being alone in a fight._

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\**Ewwies... Told you i hated this chapter. **

**Anyways, here's another question for you...**

**WHO SHOULD SNAKEPAW HOOK UP WITH? BLUEPAW OR PETALPAW AND WHY?**

**Ooooh, this should be interesting, go ahead.**

**Review**

**we'll have a debate**

**XD**


	10. Think of Your Loved Ones

**I like this chapter... i like it alot. anyways, read and review, and tell me what you think.**

**Going on...**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: Lolz, thanks, i found the name i was looking for**

**ThrushflightEdwards'Stalker: lol, her character is hardly developed but you already hate her!**

**Longtail Luv: Hehe, i already decided the names of the kits though...**

**Cloudfire: more action in this one, just for you!**

**Princess Alyra: Petalpaw? Let's see...**

**Starfrosts' Spirit: Nice name, lol, nice imagination**

**CinderDreams: don't worry, I'm not either**

**slavetothekeyboard: Diamondshine was born spineless XD**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: I love Bluepaw too! and Petalpaw! Yay!**

**Pebblepaw: Yup, loaads of romance XD**

**Sleets: correct, just asking for opinions here.**

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_When the stress gets to high, when you can't see strait. You feel your legs lock up; your lungs cease to breathe. Your eyes open wide as you watch the final blow; watch it come closer and closer until it swallows your entire vision. You close your eyes, bracing yourself, and wait for your life to finish._

_My clan calls that 'lock up', and it's the cause of most deaths in battle. The body is too terrified to move, to full of adrenaline to dodge out of the way, and you feel death reaching out to you in slow motion. It has never been known to be broken. And every cat fears it in battle._

Now I had grown to my maximum, and every cat in the clan knew that I was prepared to be a warrior. I had learned every trick that cold be taught to me, I had grown even taller then my father and stronger then my uncle. I was ready, completely ready, to be a warrior. But my ceremony never came, and a moon passed.

I was fourteen moons old now; the frost was just beginning to melt from leaf-bare. It was an earlier melt then usual, everyone knew, but no one was complaining. I woke up later and later, until I got up when everyone else was supposed to wake up, and everyone knew I was growing too large for the apprentice den.

So why didn't my warrior ceremony come?

That day I went out hunting with Darkflower and Blackstripe, along the RiverClan border. Blackstripe lead us, weaving through the sparse undergrowth and sniffing occasionally for the trail of worthwhile prey. Most of the prey was just small toads or frogs, but every once in a while we would come along a finch or a sparrow, and catch them.

We neared the Thunderpath together, drawn by the scent of a squirrel, when a monster rushed by, startling the squirrel off the road. The squirrel darted along the Thunderpath, and Darkflower followed in hot pursuit as quickly as she could. Blackstripe rolled his eyes and padded after her, flicking his tail towards me.

"Why won't Smokestar make me a warrior?" I asked him then, and he looked towards me, slightly surprised. I felt rage build in my chest, "I'm fourteen moons old! I'm taller then Smokestar and I'm stronger the Marshpaw and Silverpaw combined. I'm faster then Graypaw and smarter then Bronzepaw, what more does he _want_?"

Blackstripe hesitated and opened his mouth to answer when he was cut off by a piercing scream. He spun around, eyes wide, and rushed towards where Darkflower had chased the squirrel. Without hesitation I followed after him.

Darkflower was cornered in the deep pockets of a pine trees' roots, fur fluffed up in alarm and an ugly gash going across her shoulders. She scratched out as her assailant – a large female badger, struck out at her with one huge paw. Blackstripe let out a snarl, launching himself through the air and landed on the female badgers' shoulder, digging his claws into her hide. The female growled and whirled, sending Blackstripe spinning away into a bracken bush.

I jumped in down, scratching out at the badgers' nose. She let out a sharp snarl and clubbed me with the back of one paw, knocking the wind out of me. I spotted Blackstripe darting out from behind the badger, scratching at her back legs and I rushed over to Darkflower, who, still shaken, she creeping away to safety.

The badger spotted us, and I jumped again, clearing out of the path of a dirty, thorn-sharp claw. The badger though, wasn't aiming for me. She planted her paw on the ground, swinging around her haunches and smashing one of her back paws into Darkflowers' shoulder. Blackstripe let out a cry as Darkflower crashed into a tree and collapsed limply. He rushed past me and I jumped between then two of them and the badger, bristling.

And then it happened, the Lock Up. I couldn't move my legs; my breath was caught in my throat. I felt my eyes widen as the badger lunged to me with her long fangs, reaching for my neck. I watched as the claw came closer, then time slowed. I could see the fur rippling the badgers' dark fur, the dirt of the badgers' claws, saliva dripping off of her long teeth.

"Snakepaw!"

My eyes shifted, and I caught sight of Bluepaw, pulled back in shock, green eyes watering. Our eyes caught, and for a heartbeat, time stood still. I couldn't die in front of her. I couldn't. That promise, that promise I made to myself so many seasons ago… I couldn't break it.

I looked back to the badger, she was closing in now, my chest heaved, and I lowered my head, and took a deep breath. The world spun around me, my legs unlocked, my head cleared. I rushed towards the badger, darting under her chin and heaving upwards, throwing her upwards and forcing her to stumble backwards. Her claws caught my shoulder as she scrambled backwards though, tearing a long gash along one side of my body. I gritted my teeth and jumped backwards, avoiding her other claw.

The badger though, had had enough, and turned, growling, and lumbered away to the north, out of our territory. I smiled, feeling my chest swell, and looked back up to where Bluepaw had been. She was still there. I looked back towards Blackstripe and Darkflower, and Bluepaw followed my gaze, then turned and darted back to her own territory.

I rushed over to Blackstripe and Darkflower now. Darkflower groaned, eyes fluttering open as I neared her. Blackstripe carefully helped her up, licking her ear fondly. He sighed, pressing his muzzle into her dark fur around her neck.

"You idiot," he murmured, "You almost got killed." Darkflower smiled softly, her dark brown eyes flickering to the marshy ground.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I'll try not to die yet."

"Snakepaw," I blinked, looking towards my uncle. His eyes were strong and proud, and his head was held high, "I think it's time for you to become a warrior."

_When the stress begins to pile up, sinking down into your shoulders and dragging you down. When it feels like you're trapped, and there's no way to escape. Or when you're caught up in the Lock Up, and you can't move, time slows, and you watch your oncoming death. Think. Think of your family, of your brothers and mothers and fathers and uncles and friends. Think of your loved ones, and how they would miss you if you left them. Think of them and the stress doesn't seem too great, there's a new exit to escape out of, and in Lock Up, let legs unfreeze. Just think of them, and the world doesn't seem too terrible._

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**Yay!**

**Now review!**

**Or i won't update!**

**And a new poll!**

**BLUEPAW AND PETALPAW ARE BOTH HIDING SOMETHING FROM SNAKEPAW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?**

**lol, that's kind of a spoiler, but it's just a question**

**anyways, i've already picked their issues,so i want imput from your imagination.**

**XD**

**Review and tell me!**


	11. Pride

**-Whew- finally finishe this chapter. Sorry for not updating in, like forever, peoples, i'm hoping you still will though!**

**Pinkpelt the Crack Butterfly: wrong, wrong!**

**ThrushflightEdwardsStalker: sure thing!**

**CinderDreams: What about these italics?**

**Cloudfire: NO! Don't murder Smokey! He has an IMPORTANT role as the ANTI-Snakepaw person!**

**Freeheart: Sorry for the delay!**

**Sleets: Yeah, I haven't given anyone a big hint, really.**

**Princess Alyra: none of the above :)**

**She Who Sulks In the Shadows: I like Bluepaw too, and Petalpaw. Anyways, Thrushflight says hi**

**Runningstorm: I'm getting alot of interesting answers!**

**Pebblepaw: Oh yeah? Well I'm a Jedi Ninja Samurai!**

**Starfrosts' Spirit: I like your ideas XD**

**Tainted Shadow Rebel: UWAH! I'M SORRY!**

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_ll my life I had wanted to be a warrior, to walk proudly along my mother and father and hold me head high in confidence, maybe even become deputy or leader. Almost every cats wishes that, Darkflower did until she became close with Blackstripe, and I know Silverpaw and Marshpaw want to make our mother and father more proud then anything in the world. _

_The only difference between me and them is that I need it to survive._

"Smokestar, I want a word with you," Blackstripe called his brother, flicking his tail for me to sit down. Darkflower had gone off to Brownleaf for herbs, and, although i believe Blackstripe suspected another cat was at the badger attack, he did not know about Bluepaw.

"Blackstripe?" Smokestar padded over, eyes briefly flicking to me and then back to his brother, "What's wrong? Did Snakepaw do anything?" I felt the fur along my spine prickle, why was it that whenever Blackstripe was going to say something good about me, my father always thought it was bad?

Blackstripe seemed to sense this as well, and flicked his tail irritably, "No, brother, he has not. Instead, I'm here to tell you that I believe Snakepaw is ready to be a warrior." Doubt flicked across Smokestars' face, but before he could say anything Blackstripe continued, "He defended Darkflower and I, hold off a badger until we could get to safety _by himself_. He's old enough and bold enough. It's time."

Smokestar shot a quick glance at me and then nodded, "Very well, we'll have the ceremony now, and it's the best time for a warrior ceremony." He turned and made his way to high branch, and I felt my heart thud painfully in my chest as I followed them over, flicking my two tails eagerly.

Smokestar leapt to the top of the branch, letting out a loud yowl and summoning the cats in the clearing. Darkflower slipped out of the medicine cat den, but before she could go any farther Brownleaf appeared next to her and snapped at her to sit down, probably before she hurt her shoulder even more.

Diamondshine slid out of the nursery, belly wide and churning with lives yet to be born. Silverpaw and Marshpaw went to sit next to her, while Graypaw and Bronzepaw sat behind me. Bluestorm sat nearby as well, her gray-and-black pelt rippling in the light.

"It's time for a warrior ceremony." Smokestar spoke loudly, eyes flickering over each cat, "It is time for Snakepaw to become a warrior. Snakepaw, please step forward." I did so, and felt my paws tremble as I sat beneath my father, looking up at him. He did not look down at me though.

"I, Smokestar, leader of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down upon this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warrior," he looked down at me, "Snakepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

I felt a fire burn in my chest. Protect? Defend? HELL YES. I raised my head, looking up to my father.

"I will." I answered clearly, and I heard a brief murmur behind me. I ignored it, preoccupied with become a warrior. Smokestar looked down at me, but instead of the shine of pride in his eyes I saw during Darkflowers warrior ceremony, I only saw ice, ice and hatred. I felt a chill run down my spine. No… oh please, no…

"From this moment on you will be known as Snakeheart," meowed Smokestar clearly, "And until morning you must not speak, and keep a silent vigil while we sleep in peace." He flicked a tail and dismissed the clan, and I made my way to the center of the camp, sitting down and wrapping a tail around my paws.

I couldn't believe it. I had wanted it so bad, dreamed of it for so long, and trained for it so hard. I had pictured it a thousand times, looking up to my father, my eyes bright and his eyes shining in moonlight, reflecting pride, love, and calling me my warrior name warmly. I could hear the clan chant my name as I lifted my head proudly and basked for the first time in their pride. But now, as I looked around, I saw no warm greeting, no happy grins to calls of pride. Nothing but emptiness as they filed away into their dens.

When I believes everyone was asleep I felt pawsteps behind me, and I turned, half expecting to see Blackstripe or Darkflower there to congratulate me, but instead saw Bluestorm and her sharp ice-blue eyes. I flicked my ears, pressing them down to my skull and looking down to my paws. Bluestorm sat down next to me, looking up at the stars.

"Do you feel… discouraged, Snakeheart?" she asked without looked at me, "Or do you ashamed?" I looked over at her, startled, but she didn't look at me still.

"I saw the look Smokestar was giving you," she murmured, "I'm ashamed as well, ashamed to have a leader who cannot be proud that one of his apprentices, his own apprentice in fact, is becoming a warrior. He looked down at you, Snakeheart, with eyes that would make you think no one was proud of you. And right after the ceremony Smokestar called Blackstripe and Darkflower to his den, and they're still not done talking."

Now she looked at me, eyes crested in moonlight, "Snakeheart, before it makes its way into your subconscious, I want you to know something." She looked back up at the stars, "No matter who looks at you with hatred, during your moments where you shine, where you feel like nothing can bring you down; there is always someone proud of you. Either in the dead or the living. I know for a fact Blackstripe and Darkflower are, and so am i." she puffed a snort of amusement.

"Goodnight, Snakeheart, I'll see you in the morning." And she turned and left.

_Bluestorm was a savior to me in that dark hour. When I felt lost, she pulled me out almost at once and left me in the sunlight, where I would shine, where I could lift my head up as high as I wished and let out a loud yowl of happiness. She told me the truth, she told me nothing but the truth until the day she died. There was always someone proud of me, always. And when I thought of her then and now, and realize what she was to me._

_She was like a sister, who was always there to support me in my darkest times._

_She was always proud of me._

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**pshaw... nice chappie, Flower, nice chappie. Anyhoo, Sorry i was gone for forever and a half, school stuff and whatnot, but anyways, review! You know you want to!**

**Poll time!**

**IF YOU HAD ANY KIND OF WINGS, WHAT WOULD THEY BE?**

**I'll answer mine in the next chappie, oh, and**

**WHAT DO YOU THINK MY WINGS WOULD BE?**

**Go on!**

**Reivew!**

**you KNOW you want to...**

**you know you want to answer the questions...**

**come on, who wouldn't want to answer it?**

**it's a preeeeetty question...**

**I added a poll to my profile as well, check it out!**


	12. Death

**Woah... still reeling after i wrote this one... Beleive me, you'll know why. Wow... still can't beleive i did this. Anyhoo, review, and for the answer of my question, I'd want brown-and-gray moth wings XD, don't ask me why, i looovve moths!**

**Pinkpelt: Omg... I think you're oging to be devistated...**

**Thrushflight: Sounds cools**

**Tawnyleaf: A little longer chapter, and a little sped up, we're entering the first arc, people!**

**Longtail Luv: Thank you!**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Snakeheart... Still arg... just read the chapter...**

**Sparklingstar: Ah.. um... er... uhh... i think you should read this...**

**RunningStorm: Earth? Mine is wind, because I'm as carefree as the wind, and i tend to just go witht he flow, not as much as water though**

**Squirrelgirl: I know, isn't it?**

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It was still dark when warriors began to slip out of their dens, yawning and just warming up. Frostfoot left first, the black she-cat with white paws vanished out of the thorn barrier right as the first warm trickles of light poured over the treetops and into the clan. I watched as the rest of the clan woke up, Blackstripe and Darkflower coming out of the warriors' den together, with Bluestorm slipping out right after them, as smooth as a cat. She signaled for me to join her and I did, quickly padding over.

"You can talk now," she meowed, amber eyes glowed, I let out a sigh and yawned, my vigil had been longer then I expected. Darkflower and Blackstripe were padding over now, carrying prey for all four of us.

"It was cold last night," I murmured, taking a vole from Blackstripe and settling down, "But I was lucky, it didn't snow." Darkflower let out a purr of agreement and Blackstripe swallowed a bit of frog.

"I want you and Bluestorm on hunting patrol today," he meowed, "Snakeheart; you can end early if you want, since your vigil was last night. Darkflower, can you take Goldensun and Bronzepaw out on a patrol? RiverClan border please, and renew the scent markings."

Bluestorm let out a sigh, "Must we talk about patrols so early in the morning?" she groaned, then swallowed the rest of her toad and stood up, "Never mind, if you need me I'll be near the RiverClan border. Snakeheart, I think its' best if you head towards the ThunderClan. Ill be seeing you around." And with that the gray-and-black warrior vanished out of the camp.

Darkflower sniffed, "Bluestorm seems rather prickly today," she murmured. Blackstripe shrugged, swallowing the rest of his frog.

"She either has a hairball or the cold is getting to her," he joked, "Bluestorm may be tough on the outside, but she has a good heart. Snakeheart, go ahead and patrol around for prey, I'll see you tonight." He left the camp then, heading to hunt up by the Twolegplace.

I nodded, quickly finished my vole and hurrying out of the camp. The frost was getting deeper; prey would be hard to find this leaf-bare compared to the other years. I took Bluestorms' advice though and headed to the ThunderClan border to search for prey, but I knew that there was little hope.

Snow brushed my whiskers as I weaved through bracken bushes near the border, the overwhelming scent markers could hide my scent. The river wasn't frozen, but it was defiantly moving slower then normal. I picked up the scent of a mouse then, and began walking quieter, not making a sound as I tracked its' tiny paw prints to the edge of the river.

It was scrabbling around the edge of the river, tiny paws almost frostbitten from the cold, but it was alive and moving. I felt myself shift into a stalking position, twisting nimbly to avoid crunchy brambles, and then leapt down to the bank, planting my paws on the spine of the mouse. There was no need to bite down, I had broke its' spine.

As I bent to pick up the mouse though, I heard a yowl of surprise from further upstream, and then Frostfoot rolled out of the brambles, down the steep bank, and landed in the shallows of the water. There was scrabbling from the opposite side of the river, and Petalpaw skidded down to the edge of the water as well, eyes fixed on Frostfoot.

I abandoned the prey then, bounding up to where Frostfoot laid in the water, the black she-cat wasn't moving, and I could see two bite marks in her neck, it was a perfect, precise kill only an elite warrior could do. I looked up to the forest where Frostfoot had fallen from, fur fluffed up in fear as I spotted the killer.

I didn't expect her to be so small, she looked to be hardly an apprentice, let alone a killer, with tantalizing dark blue eyes and small paws. She stood at the edge of the brambles, looking down at me, and then flicked her strange eyes to Petalpaw. There was a certain flick of her ear, a certain glance of her dark eyes and a twitch of her pale gray fur that sent a shiver down my spine. This was a killer, who showed no compassion, no mercy, and if you were caught between her paws, you were a dead cat. But there was something else about her, something that pulled me into her strange, dark eyes...

"You killed Frostfoot?" I demanded, anger rising in my chest, who did this cat think she was? Walking into ShadowClan territory and killing a warrior without a scratch? Without a show of pity or remorse? It was disgusting.

She looked back down to me, narrowing her dark blue eyes, "You're of ShadowClan," she meowed. I felt a prickle run up my spine, her voice was as cold as the winter around us, "And you look like the traitor." My amber eyes opened wide and I unsheathed my claws defensively, but she still didn't move.

"Bring a message to you leader," she growled, "Tell him that Patchtail and Nettleheart will be avenged." And with that she turned and vanished into the brambles. I heard Petalpaw call out to me behind me, but before I could answer I scented Darkflower and her patrol nearing. Petalpaw scented them as well, and turned to hide in the brambles.

Bronzepaw spotted me first, coming out of the brambles from where the she-cat had been standing and looking down. Darkflower and Goldensun followed her, and then all three jumped down to Frostfoots' dead body.

"She fell down the riverbank," I murmured to Darkflower, "From where you came, and then, then this rogue came out, she was light gray, with dark blue eyes, and she told me to give Smokestar a message."

"Frostfoot died bravely," murmured Darkflower, touching her nose to her pelt, then looked over to me, "Snakeheart, will you help me bring her body back to camp?"

I opened my mouth to answer when I caught the scent of the rogue again, apparently Darkflower and the other cats had as well, and they all froze. I felt my fur prickle; there was a certain smell on the scent, something familiar. When I remembered it I felt my head reel.

"No," I whispered, taking off upstream. Darkflower had recognized it as well, and had soon overtaken me in our mad rush upstream. I began smelling more as we neared the Greenleaf Twolegplace. There was blood on the air, and I felt Darkflower quicken her pace, letting out a cry. We rounded a bend in the river, slipping over wet stones and finally caught sight of the rogue.

She was standing on the edge of the river, eyes dark and gray fur unscratched, looking as mysterious as ever. A wind picked up, and we caught scent of sweet-smelling heather, though there was none in sight. She looked at us out of the corner of her eye, and then turned towards the forest in ThunderClan territory.

"The scent is a trail," she meowed, "Follow the trail to its source, and you will find what you are looking for." And like before she vanished into the undergrowth without another word. I turned to look at Darkflower again, but she had already darted up stream, following the scent. I hesitated, then darted after her, my chest filling with dread.

As we neared the Twolegplace the scent got strong, and even stronger as we passed through the Twolegplace and out of ShadowClan territory. I had to admit, this rogue was strong, in the time frame of only a day she had killed a ShadowClan warrior and could have possibly killed-

Darkflower skittered the edge of a log and let out a wail. The scent of heather was overpowering now. Darkflowers anguished cry, followed by her collapse on the ground has confirmed it then, another cat was dead.

Darkflower wailed again, digging her claws into the ground, "What about our promise?" she whispered hoarsely, "What about you Clan? Your brother? What about me? What about our future?" she let out a soft cry, "I couldn't protect him, I couldn't be there for him in his darkest moment."

I padded over to her, feeling my paws prickle. And rounded the log, where a limp body was lying, heather rubbed into its' pelt and lying around it. I felt my head reel, my chest suddenly lift in horror before my world came crashing down around me.

Blackstripe was dead.

* * *

**-crashlandsonvenu-**

**WHY did i do that some in the world tell me WHY**

**PLEASE**

**GRAHHHHH!!!!!**

**I HATE MYSELF!!!**

**HOW COULD I?!?!?!?!**

**I'm so.. cruel... and... arg!!!**

**Question time!**

**WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP, WHAT DO YOU MOST OFTEN FIND YOURSELF DREAMING OF?**

**I'll tell you mine, I dream of floating. Yup, in darkness, just floating, not awake, not asleep, not breathing and not suffocating. The world around me is gone, and I rest in peace until morning comes...**


	13. Rain

**Got a little free time, so I typed this up. Not my best chapter, most likely better then the last one, but it's more of a filler chapter anyways. Snakeheart confronts Blackstipes' killer! Enjoy**

* * *

Darkflower took Blackstripes' death the hardest. She could hardly even lift her paws to drag herself back to the camp, let alone carry back any of the prey, and as soon as she reached the camp, Brownleaf swept her away into her den for herbs, dampening the shock.

After Darkflower though, I was probably hit even harder then Smokestar. I had enough strength to help Bronzepaw pull Frostfoots' body back to camp, but as soon as I got there with Darkflower, I had to go to the warriors den and collapse in a fit of crys and silent sobbing. Pain whelled in my chest. I couldn't see, my eyes were burning. I couldn't hear, there was blood roaring in my ears. My paws were numb, my nose was clogged, and all I could do was take breaths in ragged gasps.

Brownleaf came to me after he had seen Darkflower, and quickly brought me to his den, where he gave me a variety of herbs, and eventually my nose unclogged, my eyes stopped burning, and i began to feel my paws again, but my ears were still roaring, later on Brownleaf would tell me it was from shock, and that even the herbs he had wouldn't dampen it.

He gave me his nest for the night, and, although I didn't know it, he slept beside me halfway through the night, when a sudden icestorm hit and i had gotten shivery. That morning Darkflower had returned to the Medicine Cats' den, requesting borage before leaving to settle in the nursery.

"I wish Blackstripe hadn't died," snarled Brownleaf as he organized herbs, i looked up from where i had been poking at a mouse Bluestorm had brought to me in confusion, and Brownleaf, who had noticed he had caught my attention began to talk.

"He was a good warrior, strong, brave, elegant in battle," meowed Brownleaf, shuffling through feverfew, "I was an apprentice when he and Smokestar were born, they were the most beautiful kits." Brownleaf sighed, "Their mother was named herself after her brother, Smokepaw, died shortly before her warrior ceremony, and she became Blacksmoke. When she grew ill with greencough and died, her mate, your grandfather, who was the deputy, named your uncle and your father after her."

Brownleaf snorted now, "And then your grandfather died, and Smokestar became the deputy. I told the leader before him, Darkstar, that it was a bad idea to make him deputy, and that Blackstripe would be a much better deputy. But Darkstar was blinded, blinded by the love that his daughter, Diamondshine, had for Smokestar, and ignored me."

I lowered my head now, dejected, and thought over many differnet things in my head, things of death, and of life. Births of healthy kits and crippled stillborns. I thought of healthy warriors struck down in battle or wasting away in the elders' nest. And then I thought of Darkflower, and her love for Blackstripe, even if he didn't return it at first.

"Snakeheart, you're not listening to me, are you?" demanded Brownleaf, fluffing up his dark fur before swishing his tail irritably, then sighed and came over to me, nosing me to my paws. I hissed grumpily, slashing my split tail at him, but he ignored me and pointed his tail at the exit of the medicine den.

"Get up, move around then," he growled, "Go visit Darkflower, she's in the nursery with Diamondshine, who, by the way, just gave birth to four healthy kits." Before i could protest he shooed me out of the den, and i padded across the frozen clearing to where the sheltered ferns where the queens slept.

Darkflower was sleeping inside, and though she was still sleek and elegant and small, her belly bulged slightly and her scent was changing. She was expecting kits. Diamondshine was in the nursery as well, tucking three little kits to her side. Two were just like her, Silverpaw, and Marshpaw, white-silver, with long fur and green eyes. But another sent a chill down my spine, a dark tabby tom, with yellow eyes and black-and-dark-gray fur. He was big for his age too.

Diamondshine looked up at me, a little surprised to see me, and flattened my ears to my skull awkwardly.

"I... I wanted to see Darkflower," I murmured awkwardly, "But I guess she's asleep." i kneeded the ground with my paws, sheathing and unsheathing my claws, "I... Brownleaf is waiting for me." I hurried to leave but Diamondshien flicked her tail gently, motioning for me to stay for a moment.

"Darkflower most likely won't recover from this quickly," she meowed softly, "Frostfoot was her elder sister, and, even though the two weren't very close, she would have missed Frostfoot dearly. And moments later she finds Blackstripe dead..." Diamondshine sighed, "It's a miracle if she bounces back at all."

I felt anger swell in my chest, and the fur along my spine prickle with intensity, "Miracles happen," i snarled, "You just have to wait for them." And i spun around and charged out of the nursery, storming across the clearing and back to the Medicine Cat den, where I collapsed again into Brownleafs' nest and curled up, quickly falling asleep and into a dream.

* * *

_In the dream, I was walking along a marshy path, dark shadows cobwebbing the swamps around me. Ahead, the path opened up into a brightly-lit clearing, where i bounded too. Two cats were in the clearing, and i felt my chesdt suddenly risee when i spotted Frostfoot. She looked at me though, with a look that was neither proud of finding her nor joyful. Her eyes were pained, and she got up, leaving the clearing with me and th eother cat._

_I felt my paws prickle then, it was her! The cat who had killed Blackstripe and Frostfoot, her pale fur glittering in the light, her dark eyes stormy and serious. She looked at everything around her with hatred, even at me. And she stood to pad over to me._

_"_You killed Blackstripe_!" I hissed, "_You killed Darkflower! You murdering rogue!" _the she-cat didn't stop padding towards me though, her dark eyes felt like frost boring into my brain._

_"_A murdering rogue?" _she laughed icily, padding past me and swishing her long, elegant tail, "_What little lies they feed the apprentices of ShadowClan these days. Don't they ever telk you what happened in the past? Or do they wish to cover up their mistake?"

_"_What mistake?" _I demanded, following her frightening dark eyes, they were so cold, i felt my paws go numb again, as if they were being frostbitten, "_ShadowClan is an honest and brave Clan, we don't do things without good cause!"

_"_Lies!" _hissed the she cat. She neared me now, and I saw something else flicker in her eyes, pain from her past, no, not her past. Something else, something bigger. I felt my paws begin to prickle again, this she-cat was younger then me, but she held something that could even overshadow the pain i felt day-to-day._

_"_Why is there pain in your eyes_?" I asked, quietly this time, narrowing my eyes. The she-cat pulled back in shock, obviously flustered, and then dug her claws into the ground in frustration._

_"_Never mind," _she hissed, "_I'm leaving_." She turned to leave but i stood up, digging my claws into the ground._

_"_Wait," _i growled, and the she-cat flinched, but stopped, "_My name is Snakeheart_," I said slowly and clearly, "What_ about you_?" The she-cat looked over she shoulder, hesitated, and then murmured before leaving._

_"_My name is Rain_."_

* * *

**Hm... Rain... I like that name... I'll may put in a little interaction with the next two chapters with Bluepaw, Petalpaw, and Rain. Yeah... Snakeheart is begining to choose his romance...**

**And I put in these allegiances just for the heck of it. **

**LEADER:** Smokestar - black and dark gray tabby tom with amber eyes

**DEPUTY:** Blackstripe - black and dark gray tabby tom with amber eyes

**MEDICINE CAT:** Brownleaf - very old dark brown tom

**WARRIORS:**

Bluestorm - blue-gray and black tabby she-cat

APPRENTICE, GRAYPAW

Snakeheart - black and dark gray tabby tom with amber eyes

Goldensun - long-furred golden tom with green eyes

APPRENTICE, SILVERPAW

Webfoot - gray and white tabby tom

APPRENTICE, BRONZEPAW

Brownstripe - brown and white tabbly tom

APPRENTICE, MARSHPAW

**APPRENTICES:**

Graypaw - skinny gray tom with a bushy tail

Bronzepaw - ginger she-cat with green eyes

Silverpaw - long-furred white-silver she-cat with green eyes

Marshpaw - long-furred white-silver tom with green eyes

**QUEENS**:

Darkflower - small black she-cat with dark eyes, mother of Blackstripes' kits, unborn

Diamondshine - long-furred white-silver she-cat with green eyes, mother of Smokestars' kits, Mistkit, Shimmerkit, and Shadekit

**ELDERS**:

Smallcloud - very pale gray tom

Copperflower - dark ginger queen

Duststripe - dark brown tabby tom

**KITS**:

Mistkit - long-furred white-silver she-cat with green eyes

Shimmerkit - long-furred white-silver she-cat with green eyes

Shadekit - black and dark gray tabby tom with amber eyes


	14. Love and Desire

**You thought I was dead? You thought i had quit? Thought I had crawled into a hole and never come out again? Well you're wrong! I have returned, and I present to you this rediculas six-page chapter!**

**Goldenfeather: Wow...**

**Purple-Arsenic: Yeah, I really didn't want to make a super cliche story, so i tried an emotional journey instead. And you'r right, Dark River sucked, and so did Twilight and Sunset. **

**Qzil: Well, you never really know...**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: I know, I feel terrible from them too...**

**Foxstar: Me neither, she's a good character**

**CinderDreams: Yeah, I always wanted a character named Rain in one of my stories, and it's good, because she's the antagonist.**

**Starfrosts' Spirit: No problem.**

* * *

Warm sunlight touched my toes and eased me out of my sleep. I lazily opened my yellow orbs and blinked softly. Brownleaf was still curled in his nest, his graying side rising and falling softly. I straitened up and stretched, pulling at my legs and shaking bits of moss from my fur. Those dreams last night, had I really been sharing it with the murderer of Frostfoot and Blackstripe?

I have heard of great leaders obtaining dreams from StarClan before they were even warriors, Firestar of ThunderClan, Cloudstar from long-gone SkyClan, and even Darkstar, the leader of ShadowClan before my father. But those were dreams from StarClan, and were sent to them, this dream was more of a crossover with another one, and I soon began to explore the idea of sharing dreams with cats other then Rain the Rogue, perhaps Darkflower or Brownleaf.

I was interrupted from my thoughts when Brownleaf let out a small grunt and pushed himself to his paws. I took a step back and watched he stretched, fluffing up his pelt. He stretched his jaws in a long yawn, revealing yellow teeth that were used to crush berries instead of bones and were unused to tearing through flesh and muscle.

"Is being a Medicine Cat so different then being a warrior?" I found myself asking suddenly. Brownleaf looked over to me irritably. And I lowered my gaze and flattened my ears to my head, "I mean… Do you think that the position of a Medicine Cat and warrior are very different?"

Brownleaf let out a grunt of a reply and turned his back, sniffing irritably like the old grump he was. With a pause I turned around and headed out of the den, casting my yellow eyes around the clearing. I found it heart and heartbreaking then, searching the ShadowClan camp for someone I knew was never going to be there again, my dark-pelted uncle and friend was gone forever. Perhaps I would never accept it fully.

"Snakeheart," I heard a voice and saw Bluestorm beckoning me with her tail, around her were several other warriors preparing for border and hunting patrols.

"I want you on a hunting patrol," she meowed, "Go along the RiverClan border, and be careful," I looked up, surprised, and Bluestorm narrowed her ice blue eyes, "I mean it, Snakeheart." I hesitated, then slowly nodded and turned, leaving the camp without even eating breakfast. I guess I wasn't feeling hungry at the moment.

As I crossed the camp I accidentally bumped into my father on his way out of the nursery. I murmured an apology and continued towards the entrance of the camp, but Smokestar flicked his tail and barred the path in front of me.

"I heard from Brownleaf that you visited the nursery," he meowed slowly. I narrowed my eyes and felt the fur along my spine prickle, "Diamondshine says that you were pretty harsh to her, about miracles and whatnot." I let my claws sink into the ground now, preparing for what he was going to say next, and "I don't want you to be near the nursery anymore."

Every bit of rage that had ever fallen into my body now erupted towards Smokestar. With a hiss I slashed out at him, catching his jaw and forcing him sideways, scoring a deep cut in his jaw. He stumbled, unprepared for the attack and shocked. After a moment he regained his sense of authority and scrambled back to his paws bristling and spitting.

"I am your leader," he hissed, "Your superior in rank and skill, don't you dare attack me."

"Leader? Superior? What happened to father?" I snarled back, "What happened to 'I'll love you so much it will be like you never even lost your mother'. What happened to 'I'll be your mentor, and we'll be closer then any other father and son'? What happened to calling me 'son' in private?"

"Don't you dare talk back to me!" spat Smokestar, "I'm your…" his voice trailed off

"You can't even say it!" I cried, feeling something in my chest tear, "you're such a weakling and a coward I'm ashamed of even calling you my father."

"A-ashamed?!" gasped Smokestar pulling back. Feeling a newfound courage swell in my chest and I took a threatening step towards him.

"Brownleaf was right; Blackstripe would have made a better then this coward who stands in front of me." I spat on the ground and whirled, stalking through the mess of cats that had surrounded us. Smokestar was in the center of the cats, looked back at me as I irritably swished my two tails and prowled out of the cats like a member of TigerClan. No one stopped me, they all knew I had the best reason to explode at the leader, and had witnessed Smokestars indirect abuse towards me ever since I was an apprentice.

* * *

After a while of stalking through the forest in the direction of the RiverClan border, I felt a familiar presence sweep around me, and the fresh scent of heather wafted through the bushes, whirling around me. I stood, closing my eyes and letting my claws sink into the ground. Heather was one of my favorite scents, introduced to me while on patrol with Blackstripe when I was a new apprentice. It was a bittersweet scent now, and I turned, knowing who was going to be in front of me when I opened my eyes.

"Rain,"

I meowed slowly and coldly, narrowing me eyes. Rain said nothing and stood quietly in the clearing, her dark eyes seemed to swallow me up and spit me out at the same time, and only the tip of her long tail twitched on the end of her small body. Like in my dream, we didn't attack each other, but instead looked for a long moment into each others' eyes. I could tell she was examining me, watching every twitch of my ears and brush of wind against my fur; she was waiting for an attack, a revenge-bred attack that was an excuse to kill another cat. But I didn't move, and, like her, examined my foe. She was a little more ruffled then when I had first seen her, and had a long scratch down her flank. It wasn't bleeding, but was raw and sticky. Other then that she had a heather flower between her claws, perhaps there by accident of there to taunt me of Blackstripes' death.

"You're a clever cat, Snakeheart," she meowed, "I'm sure you can uncover what I am doing."

"What are you doing?" I meowed slowly. Rain narrowed her dark eyes.

"Figure it out," she meowed softly, a small smirk sprouting on her face, "Or else I'll keep taking from you. Everything you love, and everything you desire."

"You killed two warriors of ShadowClan in one day, and told me to carry a message on to my leader about cats known as Nettleheart and Patchtail, and how they would be avenged. Who are Nettleheart and Patchtail?"

Rain didn't answer at once, and instead raised her head slightly, tensing the sleek muscles along her side, and turned to walk away. I felt anger pulse through me, who did this cat think she was? A goddess sent by StarClan? At that moment I felt the weight of rage pressing down at me, urging me to fight, to tear this pathetic, Clan-less she-cat to pieces and avenge the deaths of Frostfoot and Blackstripe. But I couldn't bring myself to even unsheathe my claws as her small body vanished through the bushes. She paused though, just before she left eyesight, and turned slightly, just like before in the dream.

"Ask Brownleaf," she meowed softly, and for a moment, I saw a pang of eternal sadness in her eyes, "He knows everything."

And with that, she was gone.

* * *

I continued making my way to the RiverClan border after that, I couldn't help it. After my meeting with Rain in my dreams and in my reality, I needed someone to talk to and to listen to me. Petalpaw was too distant for now, and she had her warrior name, probably being courted by some handsome tom in her own Clan by now and choosing whether or not to have their kits in leaf-bare or newleaf.

Finally I arrived, sniffing the air around the Thunderpath expectantly, as if Bluepaw would pop up from the other side and greet me. She didn't though, and I stood for a long time at the border, looking over it longingly. There was only a small separation between us, a scent marker, a fierce rivalry, and the loyalty to our own clans, but perhaps we could make it work. Perhaps we could actually love each other and be with our clans at the same time.

The sun was beginning to set, and I had still not seen Bluepaw nor caught any prey. Many cats would be angry at me tonight, but I wouldn't eat, even if I had gotten any prey. I swished my two tail tips dejectedly as the shadows grew long, and turned to head back into my territory when the bushes on the opposite side of the Thunderpath rattled. Bluepaw burst across the Thunderpath, staggering and fur slicked with sweat. Catching sight of me she stumbled in my direction, panting hard, and collapsed in the moist earth next to me.

"Bluepaw?" I asked, surprised, "Are you alright?" Bluepaw was shaking, her blue eyes closed and her sides heaving. She looked up at me, and I realized she was crying. Carefully, I tried to prey her off of my side and stand her up, trying to help her regain her paws, but she let out a whimper as I pulled away, leaning forward and pressing the side of her face against my dark fur.

"Please…" she whispered, closing her eyes, "Let me stay here, just a little longer…" she let out a small sob, "Please tell me it's alright," she whispered hoarsely, "Tell me that everything is going to be alright, and that everything will be okay." I was a little shocked at her request, and almost pulled away, but Bluepaw continued to press into my side.

"Please tell me that," she whispered, "Even if it is just a lie."

I sighed, then leaned over and licked her ear friendly, "It's alright," I murmured her in fur; "You'll be alright."

* * *

When Bluepaw finally clamed down enough it was nearly Moonhigh, and the scents of the night were beginning to trickle into the world. Bluepaw shook out her fur, it was messy from her sweat, but it would clean out eventually. Her eyes were swollen too, from her crying, and my side was messy from where she had cried on my flank repeatedly.

"What happened?" I asked carefully, afraid that I would reopen her newly closed wounds. Bluepaw didn't break down though, and instead padded away to the edge of the Thunderpath and sat down. She lowered her head and let out a small sigh.

"I became a warrior yesterday," she meowed slowly, and I pricked my ears, surprised, "My warrior name is Bluefrost, and my cousin became a warrior too, he's now called Broadstream." She looked up to the stars now, "Today when we had finished our silent vigil we went out hunting together, like how we did when we were apprentices. But Broadstream changed now that he has his warrior name, and kept taunting me when I missed prey. Broadstream was always my closest friend, and I told him he was hurting my feelings, but he didn't stop. He kept calling me worthless to the Clan, because I wasn't a good warrior or hunter."

"Why?" I asked, intending for the question to be more like 'why was Broadstream doing that'. Bluefrost took it a different way though.

"I'm blind in one of my eyes," she meowed slowly, lowering her head again, "It took my mother ages to convince my leader that I was strong enough to train as a warrior, and I became an apprentice when I was seven moons old. Broadstream is a full two moons younger then I, and he and I became warriors at the same time. Because of my blindness I can't judge distances as well, and I had trouble stalking and hunting prey. Fighting was different though, in battle practices I would get beaten horribly because I couldn't tell how far away they were."

"Are you let that get to your head," I murmured, finally understanding. Bluefrost nodded.

"The only thing I'm really good for is bearing kits and going on border patrols." She meowed softly, "And you can tell that the entire Clan only thinks of me as that. Our leader and my father, Shadestar, even confronted me when I was an apprentice and said that probably the most useful thing I could do for the clan was to become a full-time queen. He even said that Broadstreams' mentor, Darkwind, had said he would be my mate. I told him I wanted to patrol and fight, but Shadestar just laughed and told me to think about it a mate."

I dug my paws into the ground now, it was hard just to listen to what Bluefrost had gone through, let alone know it was really happening. I padded up along side of her, and Bluefrost opened her mouth to continued her story, but instead I swept my tail around her, and pressed into her lean frame gently.

"No more," I murmured softly, "Because if Shadestar gets you to do anything ever again I'll come rescues you," Bluefrost said nothing but closed her eyes, and I pressed my body even closer to hers, "If he does, just come here, come right to the border and wait for me here. We'll figure something out, alright? Even if we have to leave the Clans."

"Yeah…" she whispered, leaning against me, "Yeah…"

A soft breeze whispered past us, and I almost caught the haunting words of Rain on the wind.

_"I'll keep taking everything you love and everything you desire…"_

I pressed closer to Bluefrost and tensed, I would never let Rain get Bluefrost. Never.

* * *

**Woah... major advance of the Blue x Snake there, Flower. But, no matter, I think I pretty muched shoved Petalpaw out of the picture of this one. However, despite all of her rejectedness, I will pair her up with another cat in her own Clan. Aint that wonderful?**

**NOw... for the poll question...**

**which do you perfer, forbidden romance or non-forbidden romance?**

**Personally, I choose non-forbidden, despite all of the Blue x Snake in this story. Oh well, I guess I'm doomed to live my life as a hipocrite -sighs-**


	15. Dreaming

**Hey peoples! Think i wouldn't update forever again? well, wrong! I had a free day today so i spent the entire time editing this chapter because it fed. Anyways, it took me a little while to figure out how to phrase this, and i think this is pretty good. I'm really excited about this story now, and about another one i recently planned out and working on, though I'm not completely sure how to start it out. Bleh, beginings were always horrible to me.**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Now that would be just peachy, wouldn't it?**

**Goldenfeather: really? I didn't think it was my best chapter...**

**Tainted Lullaby: heheheh... sorry i vanished for a while, i had to get my prioreties strait, and besides, my writing was crap. yeah, i want to make this over 40,000, and more if possible. I think it would be a good test to see how logn i could streach this without haveing readers bored and giving up reading it.**

**Shandril Weilder of Spellfire: yeah, and besides, forbidden is sometimes to angsty (note to self, don't be a hipocrite, Flower. Oh wait, too late.)**

**Cloudfire: no, no, rant all you like, i love listening to people rant, don't know why, but I'm more of a listener then a talker.**

**Qzil: I love your name, did you know that?**

**Princess Alrya: It's nice to know no one died!**

* * *

"Snakeheart…" a gentle paw poked me in the side, and I raised my head to look into Bluefrosts' soft, green eyes. She was standing over me from where I was curled in the dry leaves by the Thunderpath, and carefully poked my side again. With a small groan I rolled over, not realizing that she and I had slept together for the entire night.

"I'm going back to RiverClan," she murmured as I stood up, and I quickly pressed my pelt into hers and gave her a gentle lick behind the ear, "I'll see you at the next gathering I guess." She gave a small, hesitant purr of amusement, and pulled away from me, darting across the Thunderpath and into her own territory. I let out a small sigh. Bluefrost was wonderful, by far one of the nicest cats I knew. No, she was more then just nice, and was special.

I gave myself the best washing of my life before I returned to the ShadowClan camp, and by then, even with my full nights rest, I was dragging my paws in exhaustion.

I don't even know when I fell asleep, maybe sometime after I said goodbye to Bluefrost at the border after comforting her, or maybe after I returned to the camp and crawled sulkily back into my nest in the warriors den. Maybe I wasn't even sleeping, and maybe this was really a reality.

* * *

_There was a river there; winding through a forest of pine, pine that stretched up tall and almost touched the sky. The banks were mossy, and had a soft layer of dried pine nettles, and large rocks dotted the bank and the middle of the river. I was standing on one of those rocks, feeling a wind brush my fur, chilled by the icy river, and felt a shiver run from my neck to my tail. _

_I padded up the river, feeling my claws dig into the brown dirt to hold steady, as if I were to loosen my grip or relax my claws I would slip into the water and slowly float away. Songbird called overhead gaily, some of them swooped down lower and spiraled in front of me with no fear. I laughed and ran after them sometimes, or watched as they swooped between trees and into pools of soft, golden light. _

"_Welcome, Snakeheart, I've been waiting for you." _

_That familiar, icy voice sent a shiver up my spine, and I turned around to see Rain sitting on the bank of the river ahead of me. She wasn't even looking at me and I was draw to her dark eyes, which made me feel at peace and at war at the same time. I quickly felt the fur along my spine bristle and I narrowed my eyes, digging my claws even harder into the ground._

"_Rain," I dipped my head slightly in a sliver of respect. Whoever she killed and no matter how ruthless she was, she was a great warrior, whether she knew it or not._

_But Rain didn't respond again, and instead stood up and padded to the river. She didn't pause when she got to the water, and waded strait into it, and I watched, watched as the water reached over her paws, reached up to her belly, reached up to her shoulders, up to her chin, up to her ears, and then she was gone, submerged into the river and her own train of thought. I hesitated, not sure what to do. Did the cat that had killed my uncle and scarred my friends' heart forever die? _

_But no, a moment later the tips of her ears emerged from the water, heading away from me, to the other side of the river, and eventually she emerged, and, despite being completely covered in water, her pelt wasn't wet. Without even the slightest bit of hesitation she continued walking, vanishing into the pine forest beyond the river. I relaxed my claws, Rain was ignoring me in our dream for now, that was a good thing I guessed, but I wasn't sure. I was never completely sure anymore._

"_Snakeheart," a voice called me, and I felt my eyes widen and my pulse quicken. It couldn't be… could it? "Welcome, Snakeheart, I've been waiting for you." I turned around and felt my blood turn to ice._

_In this life and perhaps the next I would recognize those warm yellow eyes anywhere, that black pelt with tabby stripes that were only a hair paler. His distinct white paws on his back feet, and that warm look he gave me – a look a pride that even my father couldn't compare to._

"_Blackstripe," I whispered, feeling my eyes burn. Darkflowers mate sat behind me in his full glory, dark pelt glittering in the light that pooled between the trees. He raised his head high when he saw me look at him, and I let out a small cry, running over to him like a kit greeting his father who had just come back from a battle. My uncle smiled down at me, and I felt warmer then the sunlight on the stones of the river._

"_Snakeheart, it's good to see you again," he meowed slowly. I nodded, to astonished to speak, the smile on Blackstripes' face faded, and it was replaced with a troubled look, "Snakeheart, I'm here to tell you about what will happen in your life." I opened my mouth to say something, but Blackstripe flicked his tail for me to be quiet._

"_You are not part of any prophecy," he confirmed, "There will be no great evil you must face like in the elders stories of Firestar and Tigerstar or Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost." I was confused now, what was Blackstripe trying to tell me?_

"_It is only a small part to play," he continued to say slowly and carefully, "But in the future you will be remembered as one of the greatest warriors in ShadowClan, and a warrior with a small gift that you are experiencing right now." A small smile returned to his face._

"_You have the gift of walking between dreams," he meowed, "Before you walked through the dreams of Rain, who you confronted about Frostfoots' death. Darkflower was there, she was who you thought was Frostfoot, but she thought you were nothing more then an image in her dream, and left you, much like what Rain did just now."_

"_What does it mean?" I asked, and Blackstripe tilted his head to one side slightly._

"_Great things come from cats who posses gifts," he murmured absently, "But Snakeheart, you must not abuse this. You must be loyal to your clan." I felt a shiver run up my spine – a newfound chill. Blackstripe was talking about Bluefrost. With a small gulp I lowered my head._

"_Yes, Blackstripe, I will be loyal to my clan." I could hardly believe I was saying these words. _

"_That's good," he meowed, and when I looked up he was looking down at me with his soft yellow eyes. I felt my heart swell in my chest, and smiled slightly._

"_So… What's it like being in StarClan?" I dared to ask. Blackstripes' smile vanished, and he looked away, over my head._

"_I wouldn't know," he meowed distantly, "I'm not amongst their ranks yet."_

_I opened my mouth in shock and Blackstripe looked back at me with his yellow eyes. I felt my pulse race._

"_Snakeheart, your gift is limited to those who walk amongst the living." He looked up again, back to the sky and frowned, "I must leave now," he meowed, then turned away, "Perhaps I will meet you again in another dream, Snakeheart…"_

_He vanished into the pine forest like Rain, and I called after him. But there was something pulling me away, the wind whistled around me, blurring my vision of the golden pine forest and the deep river. I then realized what was happening – I was waking up._

* * *

I woke with a start in the warriors' den, Darkflower crouched over me, a concerned look spread over her dark face and her dark brown eyes etched with worry. She pulled away as I scrambled to my paws, and felt my head sway in nausea. I dug my claws into the ground with support hardly believing what was rushing through my head. Darkflower was saying something to me, but I couldn't hear her, blood was rushing in my ears, blocking out all other sounds except for my fast-beating heart and the thoughts reeling in my head.

I scrambled out of the den, pushing past Darkflower and Diamondshine, who was just poking her head into the nursery. She pulled back in shock, right into my path, and I let out a fierce hiss, only partially aware that I hissed at all. It was enough to startle her out of my way and let me rush past, bounding over to the Medicine Cat Den when Brownleaf was organizing his herbs.

"Brownleaf!" I called, and he spun around, surprise, I skidded to a halt in front of him and took a deep breath, "He's alive," I whispered barely, "Blackstripe is alive."

* * *

**NoOoOoOoOwWw... be truthful...**

**were you expecting that? (btw, that is your poll question)**

**heheheh, bet you weren't. Bet you thought i really did kill him and Snakeheart had this mystic connection to StarClan now.**

**Well nope.**

**You know what's the most fun thing about life?**

**The unexpected**


	16. Pure, Sheer, and Potent Rage

**Hey peoples, a new chapter and a new poll question! Enjoy the story!**

**Princess Alyra: I made Blackstripe awesome, i i will KEEP him awesome until the very ends... -giggle-**

**Goldenfeather: thanks!**

**Shandrill Wielder of Spellfire: I know, that's one of the annoying things about warriors fanfictions, they always have prophecies. BUT not this one. Nope, I personally don't even want Snakeheart to be deputy!**

**I Be Guest: But Darkflower doesn't know that Blackstripe's alive yet...**

**CinderDreams: One of my Seven Deadly Skills... I'm not saying the other six...**

**Purple-Arsonic: Did i mention I LOVE your name? Why am i the only one with a lame name? -cries-**

**Tainted Lullaby: Yeah, I would. By the way, I PMed a summary to you... But i guess you didn't get it. Should i send it again?**

**Qzil: I love plot twists! But not the ones in PotC: AWE. Oh well, I'll live with the movie and Johnny Depp XD**

* * *

"What?" hissed Brownleaf; fur suddenly bristling all over his body and quickly standing up to face me. I took a small step backwards in shock, I couldn't tell is Brownleaf was infuriated or surprised at that moment, but I soon saw his fur lie flat and he lowered his head in a small sigh.

"I think you may be right," he murmured, narrowing his eyes and digging his claws into the ground, he thrashed his tail angrily and tore at the loose earth, "Dammit, I should have told Smokestar that I thought his body was weird," I pricked my ears up at this now, surprised, and Brownleaf elaborated.

"When they brought his body to me to find out what killed him, I thought he looked a little different then before. There was just something about his build that made me think that it wasn't really Blackstripe lying motionless before me, but rather another cat. There was also a scar on the cat that was brought to me, a scar that I didn't recall Blackstripe ever having. But I didn't think much of it. If you didn't know, Blackstripe was exiled from ShadowClan for a short time after he was accused of murdering another ShadowClan cat, but he returned once it was proven otherwise and given the position of deputy. I assumed he got the scar sometime in that time period.

"But there was another thing about his body that was different, no matter how hard I rubbed away at his fur, the scent of heather wouldn't lift off of him. It was strange, because Snakeheart never liked the scent of heather and refused to touch it sometimes. I should have told Smokestar, but he was still getting over the shock, just like you and Darkflower." He paused now, and the looked over to me, "Snakeheart, how did you know Blackstripe was still alive?"

I shuffled my paws now, feeling uncertainty creep through my skin, should I tell Brownleaf about my gift? I decided that it was the best thing to do, and slowly told him everything, the dream of Darkflower and Rain, or meeting Rain more then once in sleep, and of meeting Blackstripe, and having him explain everything to me. Brownleaf listened through the entire thing, yellow eyes boring into me. When I finished my story he let out a small sigh and sat down.

"I thought you would receive a gift from StarClan," he murmured, lowering his gaze again, "Your split tail was a hint of it. Usually those who are given something loose something. Many years ago there was Tigerstar, who gained power at the cost of his sanity, and Firestar, who had a pelt the color of fire. Or Jayfeather, who was as blind as a bat yet, could see in his dreams and walk along his warrior ancestors. Perhaps you were given a small gift at the cost of your split tail, the gift to walk alongside those who dream in the living. Perhaps that is how you were age to meet Rain and Blackstripe in your sleep."

"But what are we going to do about Blackstripe?" I demanded, "He's out there somewhere, maybe dying and maybe as healthy as Smokestar, probably being held captive by Rain and her evil minions. I don't get why he didn't just tell me where he was in the dream!" Frustration raged in my body, and suddenly I wanted to go to sleep again, to sleep and search and find Blackstripe and demand him to tell me where he was hidden. But Blackstripe had always been an early-morning kind of cat, and I knew he stayed up late at nights. There was little chance of seeing him in a dream right now.

"Peace," murmured Brownleaf, flicking his tail, and gently touching my shoulder. I felt the frustration suddenly melt away to nothing but uselessness, of not being able to help my uncle when that was all I wanted to do, Brownleaf smiled gently then flicked his tail again, "Go out looking for him," he meowed, and I looked up, surprised. Brownleaf rolled his eyes again and said it again.

"Go out and look for Blackstripe, you may find him," he thrashing his tail in irritation of my slowness, "I'll tell Smokestar when I see him today." He quickly nosed me to my feet then and shooed me out of my den, leaving me alone in the center of camp. Darkflower turned to look towards me when I came out, and at once hurried over to me. I twitched my ears and shuffled my paws, should I tell her about Blackstripe?

"Snakeheart," she sighed when she approached, and stopped for a second, closing her eyes and wincing, after a moment she looked back at me and shook out her fur, "Just the kits," she explained, "Anyway, Snakeheart, Smokestar wanted me to tell you yesterday, you're allowed to go the Gathering tonight," i nodded, it was hard to believe it was the Gathering already, a lot had happened since then.

"And…" Darkflower lowered her gaze for a moment and dug her paws uncomfortably into the ground, "Snakeheart, when my kits are born…" she let out a small sigh, "when they're born, I want you to name them, and I want you to tell them stories about Blackstripe."

Shock rippled though me; Darkflower wanted me to do _what_? I blinked in shock and Darkflower quickly explained.

"I fell in love with Blackstripe only a little bit before he died," she explained, "I was born when he became deputy, and by then he was already a seasoned warrior. I never asked much about him, and before I really got to know him, I always kept my distance. I know that Smokestar used to tell stories about him and his brother to you when Diamondshine was away, and I was just wondering if…"

"I'll do it," I meowed before I could change my mind, and Darkflower pricked up happily, "I would be proud to tell stories about Blackstripe." Darkflower swished her tail happily, and quickly headed back to the nursery, slipping into the ferns and vanishing. I turned and headed towards the entrance of camp, glancing slightly over my shoulder to where Smokestar was sitting, yellow eyes narrowed, fur on his shoulders bristling slightly. He had heard every word I had said. He had understood the veiled message to him in them.

"I would be proud to tell stories about Blackstripe." _Blackstripe; not my father._

* * *

I bounded freely out into the woods, sniffing the air every once in a while when I came to a perch, such as a large rock or a log. I traveled north, to where the Greenleaf Twolegplace was. The poor hunting ground would soon be crawling with Twolegs, making it even more difficult for the survival of ShadowClan. The Clan would need strong warriors in the coming moons, warriors that would be able to endure the sharpest claws and have hearts of stone, stone that could not be broken or shattered, and claws made of thorns and twoleg scrap. 

I jumped down from my latest perch, a low-hanging branch of a pine tree, and winced as one of my paws touched down onto the moist forest floor awkwardly. I growled in frustration and shook it off, passing off the twisting as next to nothing. I kept on traveling up, up to the Greenleaf Twolegplace, where Blackstripe had died. Perhaps I would gain a clue to his whereabouts there.

I pushed through some bracken and slid down the steep bank of the river where I had first met Rain – back then she was a nameless rogue, but now she was something else, something bigger and worse.

"Snakeheart, I thought you would come here today," I dug my claws into the ground mercilessly, narrowing my eyes when I heard that cool, collected voice. She was behind me, and I turned around to see her lying causally in a pine tree, pale fur neatly groomed and eyes dark and intoxicating like always.

"Where is Blackstripe?" I demanded to Rain who gave me a simple, coy look and said nothing at first; she didn't seem surprised at all that I knew Blackstripe was alive.

"No," she murmured finally, "No… I think not… I'll let this play out a little bit more before I choose the next one…" she smirked, "Don't make me wait too long, Snakeheart, this is turning out to be a wondrous game." Somewhere off in the distance a sparrow called, and Rain pricked her ears, standing up on the pine branch, "Right then, have fun at the Gathering, Snakeheart." And with that she vanished into the trees.

Rage bristled through my body, "I'm going to kill you, Rain!" I snarled after her, "I'm going to kill you and avenge the death of Frostfoot, and bring Blackstripe back! I'm going to laugh when I plunge my claws into you neck and play in your blood! I'm going to tear out each and every one of your claws and turn your tail into my claw sharpened! I'll gouge out your eyes and pull off your ears! I'll… I'll…" I lowered my head, feeling my eyes burn.

"I'm going to be the one to kill you," I whispered, "I promise that, Rain, I promise I'll be the one to kill you."

* * *

**Yeah... I like this chapter. It's a little filler but... It's cute. I like Snakehearts' declaration to kill Rain. **

**AaAaAnNnNnNeEeEeEyYyYyY ways, while typing up this chapter i suddenly came into the inward disscussion of the ages of the main characters, so i inwardly plotted them out. As of the begining of this chapter, these are the ages, and least i think so. Correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Snakeheart - 14-15 moons  
Darkflower - 17-18 moons  
Smokestar - 57 moons (A/N... old fart)  
Blackstripe - 60 moons (A/N... he's actually Smokestars' older brother. It is possible to be three moons apart too)  
Brownleaf - 80 moons (A/N... another old fart)  
Rain - 12-13 moons  
Bluefrost - 13-14 moons**

**Wow... Blackstripe is ages older then Darkflower... (A/N POLL QUESTION BELOW)**

**All those in agreement of Darkflower having an insane taste in older guys, say 'aye'!**


	17. The Brightest Star in the Sky

**Bleh. I hate this chapter with a passion. See if you can help me out, because it's revolting in my eyes. Revolting and boring.** **Updates may be coming slower because i will be working on more then one story soon. They'll be short stories, and they won't be cliche. I hate cliche things. Like Squirrel/Bramble.**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: I think that Darkflower really loves Blackstripe too, despite the near-fearfull age gap.**

**Shandrill Weilder of Spellfire: Brownleaf is as old as tie-die. Stupid old cat needs to get an apprentice before he croaks**

**silverrosetail: Ashfur/Squirrelflight is one of my favorite pairings. I might start a story about them!**

**Goldenfeather: thanks for your reviews!**

**Tainted Lullaby: I sent them again... did you get them?**

**CinderDreams: I based Rain off of one of my characters i did for a school story. That character was more kick-ass though**

**Qzil: Here's the Gathering!**

**Purple - Arsonic: I think everyones name is better then mines... **

**SnuffSnuff: Thanks for the critique! I love constructive criticizm...**

* * *

The moon was just rising in the distance when we reached the island that night. My fur was still tingling from when I had seen Rain, but I quickly smoothed it down before anyone spotted. Bluestorm followed closely behind Smokestar, following him to the Great Oak. None of the other clans were there yet, and I quickly made my way over to the bush where I had sat with the other apprentices, subconsciously knowing they would make their way back to the same area.

My head was still buzzing, even when I looked over to Darkflower and saw her setting under a bush on the far side of the camp with Diamondshine, where the queens often sat. I fresh breeze wafted through the camp, and I caught the distinct scent of RiverClan and ThunderClan. A moment later the two clans pushed through the bushes and into the clearing, their leaders leaping up onto the Great Oak and the deputies and Medicine Cats gathering beneath the tree.

I spotted Bluefrost in the group of RiverClan cats, and she quickly nudged her cousin, Broadstream, and the two made their way over to me with another she-cat, a new apprentice I didn't know yet. She was small and white, with an unusual creamy belly and chest. Bluefrost dipped her head respectfully to me, along with Broadstream. I did likewise. I was surprised what a good actor she was.

"This is one of our new apprentices, Creampaw," Bluefrost flicked her tail to Creampaw, and I turned my gaze to her. She visibly flinched at the sight of our eyes meeting, and scooted back slightly, closer to Broadstream. I blinked and looked up to the big gray tom, who gave a small puff and grumble, confirming my suspicions. A moment later Petalpaw and Tricklepaw made their way over to us, weaving through the other cats.

"Hello," greeted Tricklepaw kindly, "I'm a warrior now! My name is Trickleheart, and Petalpaw got her warrior name too, she's Petaltail now." I prickled my ears at this, Petaltail was a warrior now, but then gain, I had partially know that when I had eavesdropped on her and her former mentor when she was patrolling.

"We're warriors now too," meowed Broadstream, indicating to himself and Bluefrost, "Broadstream and Bluefrost."

"And I'm Snakeheart," I meowed, all five of us were surprised we had been made warriors within the same time frame, and we laughed together. That's when Trickleheart caught sight of Creampaw and looked over to her, tilting his head to one side. He gave a soft smile and a friendly glitter in his golden eyes, bending down to get a look at the much-smaller apprentice.

"Why hello there," he meowed sweetly, "Aren't you a little cutie? What's your name?" Broadstream let out a growl, quickly flicking his tail, and for a moment I thought he was going to wrap it around her like she was a kit, but reconsidered at the last moment and let it lay protectively by her side. Trickleheart looked up to Broadstream, gave a small smirk, and straitened up.

"Her name is Creampaw," Bluefrost said quickly cutting off any glares from the two warriors, "She's a new apprentice, Broadstreams' first, and her first time to a Gathering." Trickleheart nodded slowly, pulling back and flicking his tail.

"So what have you been doing this past moon?" asked Petaltail, starting a conversation. But before anyone could answer the three WindClan siblings bounded over, along with the rest of their clan, brown pelts freshly groomed in the moonlight.

I recognized the black-and-brown tabby tom Earthpaw darting ahead, leaping high overhead that only those with WindClan blood could do, and skidding on the ground, whirling up a small dustdevil.

"Announcing the newest warriors of WindClan!" he laughed as Brownpaw and Dustpaw darted around him, kicking up more dust, "Please welcome the beautiful huntresses Browntail and Duststorm, and the brave and handsome warrior Earthheart!" All three of them stuck a pose, and at that moment every clan warrior concluded one thing – WindClan was now officially crazy.

"Welcome the gathering," greeting Bluefrost sweetly. I felt my heart flutter in my chest, when she spoke like that, like there was no sin or hate or pain in this world, something throbbed inside of me. It throbbed in pain and loss for an unknown reason. The three WindClan warriors sat down laughing, and quickly apologized to Broadstream and Creampaw for getting dust on their pelts.

"Oh? Who's this?" Earthheart bent down to get a better look at Creampaw like Trickleheart, "Oh, she's so cute!" Now Broadstream had had enough, and wrapped his tail protectively around Creampaw, drawing her closer to him. Earthheart let out a small sigh and pulled back, while his sisters patted his shoulders comfortingly with their tails.

I puffed softly, eyeing Broadstream as he looked down to Creampaw, who in turn looked up to him. It was obvious they cared for each other much more then a mentor-apprentice relationship. Broadstream grumbled and let Creampaw slip out of his grasp, allowing her to go and wander off to another group of apprentices, which included Silverpaw, Marshpaw, and Graypaw.

"So how has the prey been running in RiverClan?" asked Duststorm, narrowing her icy blue eyes and fixing her gaze on Broadstream. Broadstream let out a small growl and unsheathed his claws, but Earthheart straitened up, flicking his tail between Duststorm and Broadstream and ceasing the rising tempers.

"Remember the truce," he growled, and I tilted my head to one side, Earthheart seemed carefree and goofy, but I guessed he could be stern and smart at the same time. But something was strained between WindClan and RiverClan; the three ice-blue eyes of the brown siblings were fixed on Bluefrost and Broadstream warily.

"It's been running well," Bluefrost cut in suddenly, as if trying to mend the issues between the clans, "We have a new apprentice as you can see – her name is Creampaw, she's Broadstreams' first." Earthheart pricked up at the sound of this and striated out his brown pelt.

"I see," he narrowed his eyes softly, "But, I can guess that there's more between you and that little apprentice of yours. Only a mother would do that, and that would even be to her kits. You're…" he trailed off when he saw Broadstream thrash his tail warningly and saw an uncertain glance I Bluefrosts' eyes. With a dry sniff he turned his head and got to his paws, quickly excusing himself. Broadstream did likewise, purposely heading in the opposite direction.

"You'll have to excuse my cousin," Bluefrost said quickly to Duststorm and Browntail, green eyes almost desperate to fix what her relative had broken, "He can be a little… snippy. He's been a little on edge ever since he received Creampaw as an apprentice."

"I don't blame him," Duststorm murmured softly, looking down at her paws. I felt something pang in my chest, and narrowed my eyes, suddenly suspicious of the two brown she-cats, of Bluefrost and of the ThunderClan warriors nearby. Fear was gripping me chest. Someone was watching. Someone was listening. Fear prickled up my spine, I couldn't explain why. Then it struck me.

_No…_ I stood up suddenly, glancing over my shoulder and up into the trees. For a moment I thought I saw something, but a moment later it was gone, and the prickling feeling left me.

But something continued to chew on me, restlessness driving me to leave the five other cats and find a place to sit by myself. Every nerve in my body was now as sensitive as my whiskers, ready to turn and attack at the drop of a hair. I jumped when Smokestar let out a long yowl, announcing the start of the Gathering. I glanced over to where Petaltail and Bluefrost were settling in between the other she-cats of RiverClan and ThunderClan and relaxed slightly, whoever had been watching was gone. At least for now.

"Did you sense it too?" a voice next to me made me jump out of my paws in surprise. Earthheart let out a small puff of amusement when he saw my reaction, his dark pelt glittering in the moonlight as in the background the leaders began to talk. I settled down, flattening my fluffed-up fur with quick licks of my tongues and regaining my reserve. Earthheart narrowed his blue eyes in brief scrutiny, then relaxed and flicked his tail casually.

"Nice tail," he purred jokingly, and I hid it quickly, feeling my pulse suddenly quicken. Earthheart jerked his head up, ice-blue eyes flashing silver for a moment when they reflected the moonlight, "I noticed it two moons ago – when you came to the Gathering and I first met you. You seem to be rather self-conscious about it, Snakepaw." I shuffled my paws and Earthheart lowered his head.

"Snakeheart," I murmured, "I'm a warrior now,"

"Snakeheart, then," Earthheart murmured softly, then, after a moment he asked, "I was right, wasn't I?"

I looked over at him and sheepishly nodded. Earthheart laughed gently, eyes scanning the throngs of cats in front of us.

"I can see a lot of things, Snakeheart," he murmured, "A lot of things from a lot of cats. And I never completely want to see them. My mother calls it intuition. I can tell what each thrash of a tail and glance and ear flick means to the one doing it. Like, for example, look over there." He pointed his muzzle to where Bluestorm was sitting below the Great Tree with another Clan deputy – Stoneclaw of WindClan.

"She's your deputy," he murmured, "But look at her, she feels guilty about her position, she glanced at your Medicine Cat in unease when they announced it and look – she's shuffling her paws as they talk. She feels like she shouldn't be the one sitting below the leaders. And look over there, to the Deputy of ThunderClan." He pointed his muzzle over to Pantherclaw now, who was sitting nearby the pale ginger she-cat, Yellowbelly, his mate.

"He's pretending that she's his mate," Earthheart murmured, "Look, compare them to the couple over there – the RiverClan one. You can see a lot of differences, or, at least I can." I tried, but it was hard, I guess Earthheart really did have intuition like his mother said.

"And before, when you were talking to my sisters and the other cats, you froze and looked behind you. You could see the fur on your lower back slowly standing up and you hurried away in what looked like fear." I flinched at this. It was real then; Earthheart was a smart cat, smart and as sensitive as a rabbit, he looked at me through the corner of his eye and smirked.

"I sensed her as well," froze at his words, "The gray one with the dark eyes."

Shock rippled through me and I turned to Earthheart, feeling my heart beating wilding in my chest. Was Earthheart talking about Rain?

"Am I right?" he puffed and looked away, "You know her as well, a small she-cat with pale gray fur and dark blue eyes. Dark and toxic, eyes that drag you down and make you fly at the same time. They're eyes that have seen far too much for her young age. Far too much of pain, of death, of struggle. I cannot even imagine what she has gone through."

"She killed… two of our clan members…" I murmured, deciding to tell Earthheart that Blackstripe was dead instead of alive like how I expected, "Blackstripe and another warrior – Frostfoot." Earthheart looked interested at this.

"Really?" he asked, "I didn't think she had it in her."

I blinked in surprise, what was Earthheart talking about?

"I first saw her when I was out hunting alone a few moons ago. She's younger then us, and looked like nothing but a small apprentice. But she was with another cat – a big rogue with black-and-white fur. They had pinned down one of the senior warriors – Brambletail – and he was trying to get her to kill him. But she looked scared… no… more then scared… she was terrified. She could hardly even look at Brambletail in the eyes. And when she started reaching towards his throat she broke down and threw up. The tom killed off Brambletail and dragged her off in the direction of the marsh. She looked miserable, and even back then I knew she couldn't kill another cat. I bet she hardly had enough to kill a mouse."

"Are we talking about the same cat?" I asked irritably. What was Earthheart saying? Rain had killed Frostfoot without mercy and had spirited away Blackstripe to StarClan-knows-where. She was plotting the downfall of ShadowClan, she had said do herself! It was all just a 'game' to her!

"But of course," chuckled Earthheart softly, "Snakeheart, you're a good cat," he murmured, then looked up, past the tree-tops and the Great Oak and the leaders finished their reports to the clans, pointing his muzzle at a star in the sky, a star that glittered more brightly then all of those around it, a star that was surrounded by darkness, all alone in the sky and forced to be alone for an eternity.

"Do you see that star?" he asked, and I nodded slowly, Earthheart closed his eyes softly, "One day when you die you'll become a star as well, you'll be a star and shine in the sky brighter then even that one, brighter then even the moon and the sun. Your star will be twice as beautiful as any other." Earthheart laughed again and got to his paws, the leaders were jumping back down from the Great Oak and mingling with the other cats. Earthheart twisted as he heard his sisters calling him, and then turned for a moment back to me.

"At least, that's what I think." With a playful glitter in his eyes he turned and bounded back over to his sisters, leaving me with a confused and with a throbbing heart.

* * *

**I. Fricking. Love. Earthheart.**

**I now proclaim that! Yes, go, Earthheart, go! But... There seems to be a slight hint of a relationship between Snakey and Earthy. Now, now... don't get all worked up all of you yaoi-haters. Earthheart is going to get a she-cat of his own... Eventually... And don't worry. Snakey only loves Bluey... or... does he...**

**Now I have a confession to make.**

**I have a radar built into my computer that allows me to see all of you people who read my story and don't review.**

**That's right, people, I can see you, and let me tell you, that color goes horribly with your skin tone.**

**Review**

**NOW**

**or i like come for fix-face**

**POLL QUESTION**

**Ho, cuz, chu got da kine?**

**A. Are you kidding? I'm OVAH FLOWIN' with da kine!**

**B. Ah... um... no...**

**C. Eh? Excuse me, but what is this 'da kine' of which you speak?**


	18. DreamMeetings

**This was a relativly easy chapter to write, surprisingly. Ah, well, enjoy, review, and remember, for all those who read and don't review... i can see you...**

**She Who Sulks In The Shadows: Rain is an awesome OC -gloats- nah, i'm just kidding, i think she's a little to angst-y**

**Qzil: Isn't Creampaw the most adorable little kitty you've every seen -gloats- nah, just kidding, she's a little to... innocent...**

**SnuffSnuff: Thanks, -sighs- making names isn't exactly easy for me...**

**Tainted Lullaby: You got it! Yay!**

**Heartsong's Fanfictions: Thanks!**

**Sparkherb: Thanks for the two reviews! Yeah... I love Earthheart. He. Is. MINE.**

**Goldenfeather: Thank you!**

**Shandril Weilder of Spellfire: Hahaha, i can just imagine it now...**

**Oh, and the poll question (which was fully and utterly C) explination is at the bottom...**

* * *

I moved away from where I had been sitting with Earthheart, towards where Bluestorm was calling the clan together. I glanced up towards the sky, seeing the moon slowly dipping towards the distant mountains. It would be morning soon, most likely before we even would get home the first rays of the new day would trickle over the opposite edge of the horizon. Bluestorm called again, and I turned away from the setting moon towards where she, Smokestar, and Diamondshine were heading towards the log bridge.

"Snakeheart!" someone called me from behind and I turned around to watch as big cat approached me. I didn't recognize him or the big dark ginger tom who padded along behind him, but I did recognize Bluefrost standing a little ways behind them. The tom was big, big, strong, and familiar. His fur was dark gray, and his shoulders broad. I soon recognized the glimmer of moonlight off of his fur and the distinctive green eyes that were so much like Bluefrost. This had to be Shadestar – the father of Bluefrost and the leader of RiverClan.

"Snakeheart, you're a member of ShadowClan, correct?" asked the big tom, "Where's your leader? Where is Smokestar?" I turned, jerking my head briefly and signaling for the leader to follow me. I lead them around the cats to where Smokestar and Diamondshine were waiting for Bluestorm to round up the rest of ShadowClan. He stood up as soon as he recognized me and the leader behind me, dipping his head slightly.

"Smokestar, Shadestar wants to talk to you." I growled, and narrowed my eyes when I met his. Smokestar didn't move but his eyes visibly flinched. I sniffed and turned away, catching sight of Shadestar giving Smokestar a coy look. I took my seat a few tail-lengths away, and Bluefrost and the big dark ginger tom came to sit by me.

"What does Shadestar wish with my leader?" I asked Bluefrost, who pointed her tail-tip to the ginger tom in response. The ginger tom growled, green eyes flashing in the moonlight.

"Were you not listening to the Gathering at all?" he demanded, and I sheepishly shrugged, Bluefrost sighed, shaking her head and flicked a tail irritably.

"Snakeheart, meet my fathers' deputy, Redfur. Redfur, this is my friend, Snakeheart."

"I wouldn't take friends outside of clans so quickly," growled Redfur, "Eventually you'll just be at each others' throats." Bluefrost sighed and looked down to her paws and Redfur pointed his nose to where the two leaders were now quietly talking.

"If you had been paying attention during the Gathering, Snakeheart, then you would have learned about the tension between RiverClan and WindClan. WindClan have been slowly marking their borders further and further into RiverClan territory, slowly taking over our territory. ThunderClan supports their moving into RiverClan territory, but ShadowClan is neutral. Shadestar wishes to tip the balance into an equal fight by recruiting Smokestar as an ally before ThunderClan or WindClan."

"I see," I murmured, "So that's why Broadstream and Duststorm were glaring are each other so much tonight."

"Broadstream was caught in a border scuffle, and Duststorm was there," Bluefrost murmured, her eyes not leaving her father, "Broadstream was at her throat when she attacked Creampaw." She stood up, "Redfur, my father is done speaking, we best be getting back to the rest of the Clan." The ginger tom nodded and stood as well just as Shadestar pulled away from Smokestar, looking rather smug.

"I guess he got Smokestars support," I murmured to myself, watching the three of them go. My gaze lingered on Bluefrost for a moment longer then the other two and I felt my heart throb again. If Earthheart was right, and if we did become stars when we died, stars that were equal to the beauty of our hearts, would my star glow as brightly as he said it would glow, even though I had broken the warrior code by falling in love with Bluefrost?

* * *

I was right, that we got back to the camp by the time dawn was breaking. Bluestorm said I could sleep though, and I gladly did, collapsing into my nest and curling my split tail around my body. My nest was cold but it was enough, enough let me drift into my sleeping to search for my uncle.

I found him almost as soon as I entered the dream world. He was padding up the river, eyes fixed distantly ahead of him. But he turned when I called his name, and smiled softly, yellow eyes glittering in the light that filtered through the canopy.

"Snakeheart, I was wondering when you would be getting back," he said warmly, so warmly that it felt as if I were being bathed in sunlight, "How are you?"

"How are you?" I countered, tilting my head to one side, "Blackstripe, why don't you escape from Rain? She hardly seems to be without because she's always sneaking around our territory. It would be easy to figure out where you were and tell me where you were in the next dream."

"No, Snakeheart," Blackstripe cast his eyes down for a moment and I felt a stab of pain run me through, was this really my uncle I was visiting in a dream? I had never known him to be like this. To be sad, or to have the smallest glimmer of defeat in his eyes, or to look as weak as a newborn kit.

"You're perfectly healthy though!" I cried, feeling whatever had run me through twist painfully in my chest, "Look at you, I've never seen you in better condition, it's like you have never been sick a day in your life."

"It's a dream," murmured Blackstripe numbly, "In a dream your condition depends on how close you are to the dream. And because I'm in such a condition it means I'm closer to the dream then even you. Probably right now my body is mangled beyond belief, and the only reason I can meet you here every time you sleep is because I'm sleeping consistently in my body's desperate attempt to regain health."

"Then why didn't Rain kill you?" I demanded, "Why didn't she just tear out your throat when you were bleeding, or why doesn't she do it now?"

"You already know that answer, Snakeheart," hissed Blackstripe, "Even though I myself do not know why, I can see in your eyes that there's something that you're refusing to accept, the fact you learned today. So tell _me_, why didn't Rain kill me?"

I dug my dream-claws into the soil of the dream world, feeling fear pulse through me. It was true – I couldn't accept the fact that Rain couldn't kill another cat. It seemed logically untrue. She had basically killed Frostfoot right in front of me, and seemed to be as sadistic as they could get, consistently taunting me, consistently haggling me, teasing me, drawing me deeper and deeper into her playpen of confusion and death.

"Earthheart…" I started to say, and then I bit my tongue, could I really say what he said, and honestly believe his words? I took a deep breath and tried again, I relayed the entire story Earthheart had told me, trying to remember every detail perfectly, from the black-and-white tom to the name of the warrior and how Rain looked when she was being dragged off to the marshes.

"It seems to be true," murmured Blackstripe, "After all, I'm still alive, aren't I? And when we were battling she had the opportunity to kill me. She didn't take it, and instead knocked me out. And the big black-and-white tom… he sounds like one of the cats who has been hanging around for a while now, a big white tom with black patches along his spine, cold, cruel eyes and sharp tongue, goes by the name of Spike. He seems too proud for his own good."

"That's enough," a third, female voice cut the air between us, and we both turned to see Rain stalking up from the forest, dark eyes sour and brimming with hate, "Blackstripe, get out of here before I kill you in your dreams." Blackstripe sniffed and Rain growled, unsheathing her claws. It was at time that she swayed suddenly, and one of her paws slipped on the pebbly riverbank. I lunged in to help her but she had already caught herself, fur along her spine bristling in fury.

"Get out of here," she snarled again, and Blackstripe finally stood, strolling away into the dream and eventually vanishing. When he finally did Rain spun back to me, blue eyes blazing lividly.

"Do not come here any more," she hissed warningly, "Or I'll take another one you love – the one with blue fur and green eyes." My eyes opened wide – Bluefrost! Rain smirked, "That's right, Snakeheart, I know about your little affair with her, and I know what you did on the border that night. Stay away from Blackstripe, in dreams and in reality." She winced then, cutting herself off and letting out a ragged breath. I watched in quiet shock as her paws slipped out from under her again and she collapsed onto the pebbly riverbank.

"Rain…" I whispered, "Can you not… sleep?" Rain let out a small growl, in half embarrassment and in half anger at letting herself slip; she turned away and pushed to her paws again, noticeably holding one of her back paws above the ground, favoring it. I watched as she limped away into the bright forest and sighed, turning away and heading downstream, following my own dreams back to where I would soon awake in my nest, numb and cold.

* * *

**Ah... poor Snakeheart... a little... less angsty in this chapter in my opinion, and a little bit more on Rain and Blackstripe for your appitites.**

**Anyways, about the poll question, it was actually a translated version of a question, modern english translated into modern Hawaiian pidgin, which i seem to find myself using more and more often in my real life. Anyways, the question translates as _'hey, you, do you have it?'_. Or pretty much _'do you have (insert something here)' _because '_da kine (dah kuh eye nuh)'_ is one of the most important words in pidgin, meaning, without '_da kine_' there is no pidgin. '_da kine_' can translate as a verb, adjective, adver, or noun such as...**

**_'i no can go da kine'_  
roughly means  
_'i can't go there'_**

**So, bacially, when you have a loooong noun such as, oh, i don't know, '_Mississippi_' and you go there often, you can say _'oh, i go da kine'_ and whatnot. Or, put basically, 'it's the word you use when you DON'T use the word'... Another way to use it is with _'odda' _meaning, that, when placed with _'da kine'_ it turns into _'do odda kine'_ meaning _'the other kin_d'. _'da kine' _is derived from the english words '_the kind'_ but can be translated as _'thing'_ or _'whachamacaller'_ **

**Thank you for reading your pidgin lesson of the day!**

**POLL QUESTION**

**Have you ever solved a rubix cube?**

**I've been trying for ages but i just can't seem to get it...**


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